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desert fathersA hermit said, ‘When you flee from the company of other people, or when you despise the world and worldlings, take care to do so as it if were you who was being idiotic’. (p83)

A brother sinned and the presbyter ordered him to go out of church.  But Bessarion got up and went out with him, saying, ‘I, too, am a sinner.’ (p84)

In Scetis a brother was found guilty.  They assembled the brothers, and sent a message to Moses telling him to come.  But he would not come.  The the presbyter sent again saying, ‘Come, for the gathering of monks is waiting for you.’
Moses got up and went.  He took with him an old basket, which he filled with sand and carried on his back.
They went to him and said, ‘What does this mean, abba?’
He said, ‘My sins run out behind me and I do not see them and I have come here today to judge another.’
They listened to him and said no more to the brother who had sinned but forgave him. (p85)

If you are angry with your brother for any kind of trouble that he gives you, that is anger without a cause (Matt 5:22) But if anyone wants to seperate you from God, then you must be angry with him. (p100)

If a man answers before he has heard, it is foolishness to him and discredit (Ecclesiastes 11:8). If you are asked, speak; if not, say nothing. (p102)

 

there is no love

11.02.14 no love

In the field of personality and character growth too, the law of polarity is constantly at work. e.g. a balance must be found between the conscious and unconscious, between individual and community, between masculinity and femininity.  Every attribute exists in a state of tension and balance with an opposite characteristic in our personality.  The greater the tension that can be tolerated between these qualities, the more creative and productive it will be.  If the tension is dissolved by favouring one virtue and denying the other, the inter-play is lost and growth ceases.  Even the value which was favoured becomes lifeless and sterile.  Therefore faith in God needs to stand in the proper balance with faith in oneself; love of self must be allowed to exist in tension with love of others. The well-balanced mature personality will be able to handle both freedom and submission, independence and dependence.  The mature person will know when to be an introvert and whent o be an extrovert; furthermore one must keep a balance between the physical and the spiritual; the intellect and feeling; sensation and intuition; knowledge and love; orderliness and spontaneity.  We must be both choleric and melancholic; sanguine and phlegmatic; full of self-confidence yet fully confident in God, courageous but prudent. (p23)

darkness

incohate rage
everything smash up
wordless shaking
unblinking stare into the abyss
of darkness that has swallowed you
falling

he only has the power that you give
him…     him…     him…
the words fall into silence unheard

Talitha Fraser

Teaching 12 – The Root of Suffering

What keeps us unhappy and stuck in a limited view of reality is our tendency to seek pleasure and avoid pain, to seek security and avoid groundlessness, to seek comfort and avoid discomfort.  This is how we keep ourselves enclosed in a cocoon.  Out there are all the planets and all the galaxies and vast space, but we’re stuck down here in this cocoon.  Moment after moment, we’re deciding we would rather stay down in that cocoon than step out into that big space.  Life in our cocoon is cosy and secure.  We’ve gotten it all together  It’s safe, it’s predictable, it’s convenient, it’s trustworthy.  If we feel ill at ease, we just fill those gaps.

Our mind is always seeking zones of safety.  We’re in this zone of safety and that’s what we consider life, getting it all together, security.  Death is losing that.  We fear losing our illusion of security – that’s what makes us anxious.  We fear being confused and not knowing which way to turn.  We want to know what’s happening.  The mind is always seeking zones of safety, and these zones of safety are continually falling apart.  Then we scramble to get another zone of safety back together again. We spend all our energy and waste our lives trying to re-create these zones of safety, which are always falling apart.  That’s the essence of samsara – the cycle of suffering that comes from continuing to seek happiness in all the wrong places.

 

Teaching 20 – Solgan: “All activities should be done with intention”

Breathing in, breathing out, feeling resentful, feeling happy, being able to drop it, not being able to drop it, eating our food, brushing our teeth, walking, sitting – whatever we’re doing could be done with one intention.  The intention is that we want to wake up, we want to ripen our compassion, and we want to ripen our ability to let go, we want to realise our connection with all beings.  Everything in our lives has the potential to wake us up or put us to sleep.  Allowing it to awaken us is up to us.

 

Teaching 37 – The Practice of Compassion

We cultivate compassion to soften our hearts and also to become more honest and forgiving about when and how we shut down.  Without justifying or condemning ourselves we do the courageous work of opening to suffering.  This can be the pain that comes when we put up barriers or the pain of opening our heart to our own sorrow or that of another being.  We learn as much about doing this from our failures as we do from our successes.  In cultivating compassion we draw from the wholeness of our experience – our suffering, our empathy, as well as our cruelty and terror.  It has to be this way. Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.

 

Teaching 43 – Tonglen: The Key to Realising Interconnectedness

…when anything is painful or undesirable, breathe it in.  In other words, you don’t resist it.  You surrender to yourself, you acknowledge who you are, you honour yourself.  As unwanted feelings and emotions arise, you actually breathe them in and connect with what all humans feel.  We all know what it is to feel pain in its many guises.

You breathe it in for yourself, in the sense that pain is a personal and real experience, but simultaneously there’s no doubt that you’re developing your kinship with all beings.  If you can know it in yourself, you can know it in everyone.  If you’re in a jealous rage and you have the courage to breathe it rather than blame it on someone else, the arrow you feel in your heart will tell you that there are people all over the world who are feeling exactly what you’re feeling.  This practice cuts through culture, economic status, intelligence, race, religion.  People everywhere feel pain – jealousy, anger, being left out, feeling lonely.  Everyone feels it in the painful way you feel it.  The storylines vary, but the underlying feeling is the same for us all.

By the same token, if you feel some sense of delight – if you connect with what for you is inspiring, opening, relieving, relaxing – you breathe it out, you give it away, you send it out to everyone else… If you’re willing to drop the storyline, you feel exactly what all other human beings feel.  It’s shared by all of us.  In this way, if we do this practice personally and genuinely, it awakens our sens eof kinship with all beings.

Teaching 86: Six ways to be Lonely

Usually we rgard loneliness as an enemy.  It’s restless and pregnant and hot with the desire to escape and find soemthing or someone to keep us company.  When we rest in the middle of it, we begin to have a non=threatening relationship with loneliness, a cooling loneliness that turns our usual fearful patterns upside down.  There are six ways of describing thsi kind of loneliness:

1. LESS DESIRE is the willingness to be lonely without resolution when everything in us yearns for something to change our mood.

2. CONTENTMENT means that we no longer believe that escaping our loneliness is going to bring happiness or courage or strength.

3. AVOIDING UNNECESSARY ACTIVITIES means that we stop looking for something to entertain us or to save us.

4. COMPLETE DISCIPLINE means that at every opportunity, we’re waiting to come back to the present moment with compassionate attention.

5. NOT WANDERING IN THE WORLD OF DESIRE is about relating directly with how things are, without trying to make things okay.

6. NOT SEEKING SECURITY FROM ONE’S DISCURSIVE THOUGHTS means no longer seeking the companionship of constant conversation with ourselves.

Caught sight of someone “hanging around” our fence, thought “What on earth are they doing?” Sort of bobbing up and down against the fence… moved out of my line of sight so I shrugged and went about my day…

I wandered out the front half an hour later to realise with dismay my bobbing friend was still pacing out the front of our house.

“Hello?” I say, “Are you alright? Do you need any help?”

“Thank you for stopping.  I’m not a bad person. I know how this must look…”

“Where are you going? Do you need anything? Directions?”

“Cigarettes.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I don’t smoke… wait, you want to buy cigarettes? There’s a milk bar just up the road there… where the traffic lights are…”

“Thank you.  Thank you so much for stopping.”

I don’t know what condition he might have that would make him bob up and down or become disorientated. I don’t know if he’d had a serious fall or been beaten or why… I do know we were courteous to one another and it was ‘enough’.

SLETIA

Life is hard
just wait
good will come
Life is hard just wait good will come
Life is hard
life is hard
just wait
just wait
Good.  Good will come.
Good will come.
Life is hard just wait good will come.Come life is
hard
just wait
good will
good will
come.

 

Today I am reading a copy of the Gnostic Bible (Barnstone & Meyer).

Gospel of Thomas:

(38) Often you have wanted to hear these sayings I am telling you, and you have no one else from whom to hear them.  There will be days when you will seek me and you will not find me.

23.11.2013 004

Elementary my dear…

sherlock

Sherlock: “I’ve lived most of my life with the firm conviction that romantic love is an illusion.  It is a futile hedge against the existential terror that is our own singularity… …I feel liberated.  I am now and forever post-love, and, as such, I am free to pursue a life of meaning.”

Holmes: “I think it’s sad you’ve given up.  I think you have a lot to share if you cared to.  You shouldn’t be the only one who knows you.”