You take, shape, mold me
You hold the raw material tenderly
and say ‘..this has potential’
I am a child.
I am underfoot and in the way.
I cannot stay within the lines
but I am so eager to help
You cannot resist me.
I am kind of cute and You
delight in my delight.
Surely this will be slower, more work,
not turn out quite as You intended
Surely this will be perfect.
Talitha Fraser
A hermit said, ‘When you flee from the company of other people, or when you despise the world and worldlings, take care to do so as it if were you who was being idiotic’. (p83)
A brother sinned and the presbyter ordered him to go out of church. But Bessarion got up and went out with him, saying, ‘I, too, am a sinner.’ (p84)
In Scetis a brother was found guilty. They assembled the brothers, and sent a message to Moses telling him to come. But he would not come. The the presbyter sent again saying, ‘Come, for the gathering of monks is waiting for you.’
Moses got up and went. He took with him an old basket, which he filled with sand and carried on his back.
They went to him and said, ‘What does this mean, abba?’
He said, ‘My sins run out behind me and I do not see them and I have come here today to judge another.’
They listened to him and said no more to the brother who had sinned but forgave him. (p85)
If you are angry with your brother for any kind of trouble that he gives you, that is anger without a cause (Matt 5:22) But if anyone wants to seperate you from God, then you must be angry with him. (p100)
If a man answers before he has heard, it is foolishness to him and discredit (Ecclesiastes 11:8). If you are asked, speak; if not, say nothing. (p102)
I fear that what might be my honest, deliberate truth might in fact be driven by my fear, or worse, that I have never been tested.
How do you measure integrity?
In this moment my truth explains, justifies, gives grace to my life. Could I ever doubt, regret, call that into question as some new learning, new light shines into my brokenness?
In every moment we are given a choice about what we do or say – watch TV? Do the readings for Uni? Check for the 5th time in 10 minutes whether someone has retweeted my tweet? How do we register the frequency of the symphonic harmony of life and step into the dance?
The only thing sadder than a life on the sidelines is not even knowing you are invited…
i tell you arise
Jesus seemed to move around a bit… city to sea, centre to margins; in between the “happenings” the speeches and stories, the healing and the casting out – he and his friends would have spent some time on the road. I wonder if this was his introverted time to recharge before the gig? Whether they’d process how it went “I don’t know, do you think they get it?”, “OMG did you see that Pharisees face? I thought he might have a heart attack”… Joy or sadness, success and frustrations poured out around a campfire at night, shared around a meal, not ranked recliners but a simple circle on the ground – men and women together, schmick tax collectors and homely fishermen. Despite having people around him all the time I bet there were times Jesus felt lonely in his vocation, times he wrestled with the call, felt caught between the surety of purpose and the unknowing of where the path would lead… and felt fear.
i tell you arise
Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Te Whiti, Dorothy Day, Ghandi, saints, prophets and witnesses have gone in that water, I am not worthy to set foot in it.
Maybe just a toe? I’ll paddle here on the edges – I can see to the bottom, sure footing… it’s safe here. I can see the way forward and the way back.
What if I’m swept off my feet? What if the current takes me? Where will it take me? I am not strong enough to swim against the current long… what if I can’t get out?
This is the river that baptised Jesus. This same water that washed his feet and that of his disciples whom he knelt to serve… this water is not of death but of life…
i tell you arise
Talitha FraserWhat is your perfect day?
A few months ago, I had someone ask me once what my perfect day was, and I felt a bit uncomfortable with the question and didn’t really know how to answer and so I turned the question back to them. But it kept coming back to me afterwards… I’ve done a bit of thinking about happiness, what it takes to feel “happy”, how much happiness is in my own control and what it would take for when someone asks me the question “How are you?” for my answer to be “I’m happy today!”
As it turns out, my perfect day isn’t strolling the Champs de Mars under the Eiffel Tower in Paris eating pain au chocolat; or even walking along the beach with my headphones in, then sitting out on the rocks and eating ice cream while the waves roll in round me; if that were a perfect day for me then I would only be happy very rarely! Although that is the kind of answer I felt ‘supposed’ to give – it didn’t feel honest.
On reflection, my perfect day contains a mix of a few things:
– crossing a good number of things off on my list of “things to do”
– a social engagement with someone I’m close to over a coffee or similar that makes a good connection between us, and
– having what I call a “kingdom moment” which is where I have one of those interactions with someone, anyone, whether you know them or not, but at some point in the conversation you know you are changed for having known the other person because you saw something of God in them and it transforms you
When I get that mix right – I have a really profound sense of the work I do and the vocation or work I’m called to being the same thing, an alignment between who I am called to be and who I am, I understand, just for a moment, why God made me and why I am here.
That moment is what makes me happy, that moment of knowing is what makes me glad to be alive.
On any given d
ay, I may only get one or even none of those things. And it is easy to feel dissatisfied. It’s a precarious thing to find happiness – a whole lot hangs in the balance and we just have to take life one day at a time. It helps to remember at those times I’m most frustrated that its God’s purpose not mine that matters and that those things which come up may have a value for Him that I will ever know.
I have secretly loved the person tagging Melbourne “happy” – it makes me smile everytime I see it (which is not usual of most words tagged) and it makes me think someone else is pursuing happiness too and hopefully leaving a trail where they’ve found it…
In a song Michael Franti’s written called “Gloria”: one of the lines talks about how “I know each day in life with you gets better than the last, so today I’m just glad to be alive”
I thought we could frame our prayers today in the sentiment of that grace. Even though we have things in our day that might feel bad or worrying or frustrating or overwhelming, and the end of the day, in balance, we’re glad to be alive and to have experienced those things as well as the ones which bring us joy.
The other night I went to the 10th Annual Homeless Memorial. Once a year this motley community gathers to remember those ‘streeties’ or ‘parkies’ who have passed away. You can get hot soup, a hot dog, and warm clothes are available to take away. But it is about more than that. We are offered an opportunity to reflect on those people with whom we create connections, those with whom we feel ‘at home’, regardless of any material shelter. We remember those who now or have in the past offered light or warmth to our lives. Voice is given to the pain of separation from parents, siblings, children, society. Voice is given to the pain of decisions that cannot be unmade, things which cannot be unsaid and knowledge that we cannot go back – only forward. A humble gratitude is offered to ‘the people from the organisations represented here’, supported with warm applause from the crowd in and around the marquee.
We sing: songs we all know the words to. We don’t need song sheets. We cradle our lit candles and sprigs of rosemary.
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don’t let show
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
—
They say we stand for nothing and
There’s no way we ever could
Now we see everything that’s going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don’t have the means
To rise above and beat it
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
It’s hard to beat the system
When we’re standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
—
We hold a minute’s silence, and it is deep and rich and full. There are names unspoken…tears unshed…and hope unlooked for. We only need to look around to know we are not alone in this grief. We only need to look around to have more than our hunger fed, our coldness clothed… instead we know the truth. We are not strangers to one another as we thought. And a last a cappella chorus rings out…
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind but now I see
itellyouarise 