Tag Archive: grief


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Port Arthur memorial garden, by Michael Rawle / Flickr.com

This article was published on the Sojourners blog 15/12/2015 .

“Death has taken its toll. / Some pain knows no release / but the knowledge / of brave compassion / shines like a pool of peace.”

 

These words are engraved on the memorial pond at the Port Arthur mass shooting site in Australia. Nearby, a wooden cross is inscribed with the names of the 35 men, women, and children who died here. In contrast, a brochure at hand provides a simple explanation of what occurred in this place; it notably does not name the gunman. 1996: Australia’s last mass gun death.

 

After any traumatic event we ask ourselves, “What saves the next person from what has happened to me? How can I make sure no one sees what I have seen? Goes through what I have gone through?”… as bereaved, survivor, emergency responder, community member, minister.

 

Glenn Cumbers became an ordained minister of the local Church of Christ a mere six weeks before the Port Arthur massacre. The morning service was over and he was enjoying lunch at a home nearby when the sounds of shooting were heard. He and his companions were among the first responders. In the days that followed, the church was open 24 hours for anybody to come for prayer or to feel a bit of peace and quiet. There was ministering to the community and leading memorial services, private and public, as well as advocacy urging gun owners to act in the national interest: “We ask that the minority be willing to forgo their short-term wants for the long-term good of Australia.”

 

It is not insignificant to have all the Federal, States and Territories Parliaments of Australia pass one universal law. There was lobbying by many parties after the 1987 Queen Street massacre and the 1991 Strathfield massacre.

 

As Australians, we are not so many generations removed from penal colony settlement or “subduing the natives” (those were massacres, too, it warrants mentioning) that saw an “every man for himself” attitude become culturally embedded. But the 1996 massacre in Port Arthur saw a tipping point where the law was far behind popular opinion.

When changes to gun laws were first proposed, the member churches of the National Council of Churches welcomed the initiative and urged government to agree on and pass the legislation. 

right:  Minutes of The National Council of Churches in Australia (NCCA), Friday 12 July 1996

 

The New South Wales Farmers Association, with its high rate of gun owners, also gave its support for a total ban on semiautomatics firearms. And proving that you can have our guns but not our sense of humour, NSW Farmers pointed out that with reforming gun laws Australians will still be able to bear arms, such as: bolt-action, centre-fire military rifles; lever-action, centre-fire sporting rifles; pump-action, centre-fire sporting rifles; rim-fire rifles with bolt, lever or pump actions, and double-barrelled shotguns. Further, a farmer commented, “If a shooter cannot knock down a fox with one of the weapons I have mentioned, the solution is not a semiautomatic firearm but an ophthalmologist with a centre-fire laser or, alternatively, a return to basic training.”

 

No one was taking our guns — we were giving them up. The gun control question should not be prefaced by what you have to lose, but by what you have to gain.

 

Glenn Cumbers left the church in 2004. He could no longer work as a result of post-traumatic stress disorder that had not been supported. Pouring himself out to the community and addressing their healing was his job, but who was healing the healer? In 2008, Stephen Robinson published a practical guidebook called Ministry in Disaster Settings: Lessons from the Edge that investigates the experiences of ministers, like Cumbers, who have been on the ground for some of the worst disasters of Australian history. Cumbers says, “I found that book was really the first step on the long journey of healing for me.”

 

We always ask: What saves the next person from what happened to me? What does brave compassion look like where you are? I don’t know. But I do know that if I had a gun, I would say to any family touched by gun violence: “I cannot do much, but if the world is a better place with just one less gun, have mine.”

 

In the words of former Australia Premier Barrie Unsworth, who lost re-election in 1991 advocating for stronger gun law, “It is not too late to do something positive.”

 

by Talitha Fraser

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Facilitated by Mehrin Almassi from the Indigenous Hospitality House, in this bible study series we will seek to make connections between the story of the nation of Israel told in Lamentations and our own national story. We will look to see whether this book may help us to address our shared histories of displacement and endeavour to distill how we might move forward as a nation in light of the biblical example.

Connection to Creator (Spirit)

What do we think of when we hear the word Spirit? What do we think of when we hear the words Spirit of God?
What do we think about when we hear the term Creator Spirit?
What do we think is meant by each of these phrases? Are they related? Could they be?

Read Lamentations 3

Did the Israelite people have a sense of the Spirit of God – the Creator Spirit?
What was God like for the people of Israel? What was their experience of relating to God?
How do we relate to and/or experience God? Is our experience different to that of the Israelites? If so, can we think why?

Let’s read the Boon Wurrung Story.

What might this story teach us about the way the Boon Wurrung people experience the Creator Spirit?
What may this story teach us about the importance of our own stories in relation to local, national and international issues?
How else might we apply important narratives of the past to current situations needing attention?

Kids Activity

In parallel to grown ups run a kids session: talk about pictures as stories, songlines and place.

Will need:

  • messy clothes (if painting)
  • paint and brushes and/or lots of sticky dot stickers
  • paper
  • photos (bring along some or a camera to take some on the day)

What do you like about stories?
Look at this image? What is this a picture of?

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(girls, dog, trees…)

This picture tells the story of the time Talitha and Bron went to the park with Gracie.

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 What about this image? what’s happening here? who was there? but they aren’t in the picture… how do you know they were there?

(pictures can capture a “moment”, some part of a bigger memory, tobogganing and snow angels, other friends… reminder of something bigger that we can no longer see)

Pictures have two things, a place and a “happening”.

Using your pictures so far, talk about where they are happening and what is happening.

IMG_6501Indigenous stories tell something about a place and also about something happening there.

WHERE: Maybe there is a waterhole (blue), things grow there (green), drier sand/soil as you move away (orange), day rocks (red).

WHAT: An animal comes to the watering hole and then goes (tracks).

Ask children to share a memory, a story, and make a picture – collectively or individually (age depending). Then ask of each: Where is your story taking place? What is happening there?

How would you feel if you couldn’t got there again?  If you couldn’t do that again? (sad)

Today the grown ups are talking about the story of lamentations – a lament is a sound of grief and sorrow.  That’s what people in the story did when they couldn’t go back to the place they remembered or do the things they used to do there.

Learning:

our stories and our pictures can be used to tell each other about places we haven’t been and things we haven’t done, remembering and reminders can comfort us when we feel sad

let’s take a photo now, today of all of us together, making and telling stories so that we have a memory-capture. It’s good to take photos and write stories and make pictures because they help us remember

take your picture now to a grown up – tell them your story – use things inside the picture and outside the picture

 

 

One of THOSE days

040

disquieting
restlessness
unsatisfied
I become
strange
to myself again
unfamiliar
and requiring
exploration

–ooo000ooo—

do You bestir
my comfort
my certainty
in favour of
unknowing?
You always were
good at asking
difficult questions.

–ooo000ooo—

a single tear
bitter
with self pity
creeps
down my cheek
sinner

Talitha Fraser

F*** off

17.12.14b

Grief

my eyelids
draw downwards
shutters over grief
the senselessness
drops away
like a well within me
i try to get to the bottom of it
but i do not know
how far down it goes
my eyes open
just before i drown

 

Talitha Fraser