Tag Archive: hope
“Me? I’ve been lonely my whole life for as long as I can remember, since I was a child. Sometimes being around other people makes it worse… When you’re young, you think its going to be solved by love. But it never is. Being close – as close as you can get – to another person only makes clear the impassable distance between you.”
“If being in love only made people more lonely,
why would everyone want it so much?”
“Because of the illusion. You fall in love its intoxicating, and for a little while you feel like you’ve actually become one with the other person. Merged souls, and so on.You think you’ll never be lonely again. Only it doesn’t last and soon you realise you can only get so close, and you end up brutally disappointed, more alone than ever, because the illusion – the hope you held onto all those years – has been shattered.
But see, the incredible thing about people is that we forget. Time passes and somehow hope creeps back and sooner or later someone comes along and we think this is the one. And the whole thing starts all over again. We go through our lives like that, and either we just accept the lesser relationship – it may not be total understanding, but its pretty good – or we keep trying for that perfect union, trying and failing, leaving behind us a trail of broken hearts, our own included. In the end, we die as alone as we were born, having struggled to understand others, to make ourselves understood, but having failed in what we once imagined was possible.
How to be alone, to remain free, but not feel longing, not to feel imprisoned in oneself. That is what interests me.”
He spoke of human solitude, about the intrinsic loneliness of a sophisticated mind, one that is capable of reason and poetry but which grasps at straws when it comes to understanding another,
a mind aware of the impossibility of absolute understanding.
The difficulty of having a mind that understands that it will always be misunderstood.
“But as it stands, true empathy remains impossible. And so long as it is, people will continue to suffer the pressure of their seemingly singular existence.”
“And mistreat each other, won’t they?”
Ray nodded. “Horrendously.”
(quote from “Man Walks into a Room” – Nicole Krauss)Maori continued with the task unarmed and, to a person, they declined to respond to aggression when removed. Go, put your hands to the plough. Look not back. If any come with guns and swords, be not afraid. If they smite you, smite not in return. If they rend you, be not discouraged. Another will take up the good work. If evil thoughts fill the minds of the settlers and they flee from their farms to the town, as in the war of old, enter not . . . into their houses, touch not their goods nor their cattle. My eye is over all. I will detect the thief, and the punishment shall be like that which fell upon Ananias. When the ploughmen asked Tohu what they should do if any of their number were shot, he replied, ‘Gather up the earth on which the blood is spilt and bring it to Parihaka’ (Scott, pp 56-57).
February 6th is Waitangi Day in New Zealand, the anniversary of the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi in 1840. To the British this achieved full sovereignty and government of the country but Maori thought, while giving authority to govern, they would still be entitled to manage their own affairs in their own way. Similarly to Australia Day on January 26th being known as “Invasion Day” to the First Peoples of that nation, Waitangi Day is often attended by protest as well as being a celebration of nationhood.
What perhaps not enough New Zealand settler descendants may know is that there were Taranaki chieftains who never signed the Treaty of Waitangi, steadfast in their refusal to acknowledge foreign sovereignty in preference for maintaining their own way of life on their own land – the pa at Parihaka became a sanctuary for Maori forced, fought, deceived off their land. Likened forerunners to Ghandi and Martin Luther King, Te Whiti and Tohu ran a campaign of non-violence spanning 40 years sheltering the dispossessed.
The Waitangi Tribunal[1] published “The Taranaki Report: Kaupapa Tuatahi” in 1996 saying, “ If war is the absence of peace, the war has never ended in Taranaki, because that essential prerequisite for peace among peoples, that each should be able to live with dignity on their own lands, is still absent and the protest over land rights continues to be made.” Contrary to the belief held by many New Zealanders that in an acknowledged first equal language, proportional representation in government and other policies we might be considered advanced in our journey of equality and reconciliation, in fact we are the only colonising country where there is no land held and managed autonomously by the indigenous population (Ch.8 Parihaka).
The title of Dick Scott’s book is a quote from Te Whiti, Chieftain at Parihaka who says:
Ask that mountain – here before us, it will be here when we are gone – that mountain as witness, can we honestly say that we have done everything we can? That everything is ‘right’?
These are the questions we need to ask ourselves and the stories that should continue to be told if we are to participate in the journey of healing between the people and the land.
It is often difficult to know where to start in confronting these issues, I have more questions than answers yet I have hope. I have ordered a T-shirt from the Emmaus Rd community, on the front it reads Arohamai which means “sorry” or “forgive me” and on the back are a list of some of the injustices as occurred over those 40 years and are carried yet in our dreams and bones today:
I’M SORRY FOR THE
// INVASION OF YOUR VILLAGE – 5th NOV
// UNJUST ARREST AND EXILING OF TE WHITI AND TOHU
// LOOTING BY THE ARMED CONSTABULARY / 8th NOV
// DESTRUCTION OF THE WHARENUI & CROPS / 20th NOV
// FORCIBLE EJECTION OF 1,556 PEOPLE FROM THEIR HOMES /20th NOV
// RAPE OF YOUR WOMEN
// CONGENITAL SYPHILLIS IN YOUR CHILDREN
ALSO FOR THE:
// IMPRISONMENT WITHOUT TRIAL OF 420 PLOUGHMEN AND 216 FENCERS FOR TWO YEARS
// DEVASTATING EFFECT ON THEIR WIVES AND CHILDREN
// UNJUST CONFISCATION OF YOUR LAND
// BACKDATING OF LEGISLATION TO MAKE LEGAL THE GOVT’S ILLEGAL ACTS
AND OUR FAILURE AS A NATION TO FACE THESE ISSUES
In her Booker Prize Winning novel The Bone People Keri Hulme writes, “I was taught that it was the old people’s belief that this country, and our people, are different and special. That something very great had allied itself with some of us, had given itself to us. But we changed. We ceased to nurture the land. We fought amongst ourselves. We were overcome by those white people in their hordes. We were broken and diminished. We forgot what we could have been, that Aotearoa was the shining land. Maybe it will be again… (p.364)
I will wear this T-shirt as an act of public witness, as a peacemaker wanting to put things right personally and as someone who believes the people of New Zealand are different and special and in faith that the mountain will stand to see a shining land, whole and restored, again.
[1] The Waitangi Tribunal was established in 1975 by the Treaty of Waitangi Act 1975. The Tribunal is a permanent commission of inquiry charged with making recommendations on claims brought by Maori relating to actions or omissions of the Crown that breach the promises made in the Treaty of Waitangi. The full text of The Taranaki Report: Kaupapa Tuatahi can be found on the website http://www.waitangitribunal.govt.nz/.

The other night I went to the 10th Annual Homeless Memorial. Once a year this motley community gathers to remember those ‘streeties’ or ‘parkies’ who have passed away. You can get hot soup, a hot dog, and warm clothes are available to take away. But it is about more than that. We are offered an opportunity to reflect on those people with whom we create connections, those with whom we feel ‘at home’, regardless of any material shelter. We remember those who now or have in the past offered light or warmth to our lives. Voice is given to the pain of separation from parents, siblings, children, society. Voice is given to the pain of decisions that cannot be unmade, things which cannot be unsaid and knowledge that we cannot go back – only forward. A humble gratitude is offered to ‘the people from the organisations represented here’, supported with warm applause from the crowd in and around the marquee.
We sing: songs we all know the words to. We don’t need song sheets. We cradle our lit candles and sprigs of rosemary.
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don’t let show
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
—
They say we stand for nothing and
There’s no way we ever could
Now we see everything that’s going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don’t have the means
To rise above and beat it
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
It’s hard to beat the system
When we’re standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
—
We hold a minute’s silence, and it is deep and rich and full. There are names unspoken…tears unshed…and hope unlooked for. We only need to look around to know we are not alone in this grief. We only need to look around to have more than our hunger fed, our coldness clothed… instead we know the truth. We are not strangers to one another as we thought. And a last a cappella chorus rings out…
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind but now I see




