…metabolise pain as energy. The key to doing that is to know, to trust, and to act as if a silver lining exists if you are only willing to look at the work differently or to walk through a different door, one that you may have baulked at.
(p.135, Julia Cameron, The Artists Way)
This week Simon Holt came to the Spiritual Reading group and read aloud from the first chapter of his latest book.
Here’s a teaser… “The quest for meaning, intimacy and community seems ever more urgent. The table beckons. It beckons because, at its core, the table is about such fundamentally human things as intimacy and family, identity and communication, reconciliation and romance, covenant and community, redemption and friendship, sustenance and celebrations, beginnings and endings. The table beckons because it plays host to so much more than biological necessity.”
We went around the group and shared ideas of table from our family of origin – dinner at my house was often cooked sometime in the afternoon then people ate where they liked, when they liked, what they liked (you could always have toast or 2-minute noodles if you didn’t like what was on the stove) – this was not normative of the group where the table was a place of sharing food and daily life together, there might be rules that you don’t leave the table without saying something you are thankful for/doing a bible reading/everyone is finished…
One idea I found intriguing was the idea of not being allowed to ask for anything – training in mindfulness – the only way to get anything is to be aware of others needs and for them to be aware of yours expressed by a need to care for one another: Would you like any…? Can I pass you the…?
These days I have next to no regular rhythms of food sharing. We are sharing hospitality but it is irregular… if, as Simon says “eating is a social and political act of profound consequence, one that expresses tangibly our communty identity and citizenship. And as one of the most routine activities of life – one that marks the rhythm and flow of everyday – eating is embedded at the heart of what it means to be human.”
How can we make who we eat with, what we eat and when, more intentional?
A community of this kind must be (a) consciously choiceful, (b) explicitly committed to and willing to be called to life in the Gospels, (c) open to change through the authentic living-out of its principles, and willing to be challenged to fuller Christian praxis, and (d) prepared to confront the patterns of the Commodity Form – injustice, manipulation, domination, dishonesty, escape – not only as they appear in the culture at large but also as they surface within the group itself.
…The continued intimacy of shared life which is open to new life, however, is one which necessarily entails the suffering of growth and of daily dying to immediate gratification, to the satisfaction of one’s clamoring ego, and to one’s defenses against self-revelation.
~ John F. Kavanaugh, S.J.
My loneliness has a “voice”. There is a Presence within the void. Deep friendships have brought me to this and the inevitable goodbyes. I meet my loneliness. And I learn that nothing else remains to be discovered except compassion.
~ Patrick J. Connolly
This year I am thinking a bit about the idea of “community”, what does it take to have a “good” one (sustainable/functional/inclusive/etc.) how is leadership/eldership developed? what structure does this the community have? how do people join or leave? are there basic components that are essential then localised variations? What has been tried before and how did that work or not? Pachomius is part of going back to the Desert Fathers (and Mothers) and seeing what their communities were like… some common themes so far include:
– limiting company, food, sleep, talking
– living apart/in the desert
– working only enough to live and trusting to God’s provision for anything beyond that
– rhythm of prayer and fasting
– people would travel to visit/seek wisdom/join because they heard about their dedicated faith
– humility in service
Some chips of wisdom from Pachomius… reflect on the question Where is your shining light?
It is not good to ask unnecessary questions. Speak only for the salvation of souls, because it is written: one who is faithful in small things will be faithful in great. (p46) Lk16:10
Up! Do not stay with the dead. My son, do good deeds like the friends of God. (Heb 6:12) Do not sleep: act!
And make your neighbour do good deeds, for you have made yourself responsible for him. (Prov 6:1-6)
Get up! Do not stay with the dead. and Christ will give you light (Eph 5:14) and grace will flower in you (2 Cor 4:16,17) (p280)
When a thought keeps troubling you, be patient, waiting for God to give you back your peace (p81)
If you give bread when you have plenty of it are you being truly good? And if you are downhearted when you are in need you are not truly poor in spirit. But the bible says of the saints that they are in need of everything, they go through all sorts of troubles, and they are ill-used. (Heb 11:37) But they are proud of having to undergo these things (Rom 5:3)(p85)
Bearing hard things with joy
Joyfully undergo any troubles. If you knew the honour which is the reward for undergoing troubles you would not ask God to take them away. Yes, when you are weeping in your prayer, and when you are watching long hours for God’s help, that is of more value to you than to let yourself get soft and be made a prisoner (p87)
My son, run from the desires of the body. They cloud the mind and stop you from coming to the knowledge of the secrets of God (Mt13:11). They make you a stranger to the words of the Holy Spirit, and you will not be able to carry the cross of Christ or keep your hearts attention on praising God. Do not eat more thn you need or you will not be able to taste the things of God (p89).
Run from earthly honours
You, my son, run from the soft life of this world. Then you will be happy with the life to come. Do not be careless. Letting the days go by, for then Death will come to you suddenly and his servants, the faces of fear (Rev 9:7-11), come round you and cruelly take you of to their dark place of terror, fear and pain. Do not be sad when you are cursed by men: be deeply sad when you sin – this is the true curse – and you go away bearing the wound of your sin. From my heart I urge you to scorn honours. Pride is the Devil’s own weapon. It was with this arm of pride that he worked his deceit against Eve. He said to her: “Take and eat the fruit of the tree and your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods” (Gen 3:5) She listened to him and thought it true. She desired the glory of being like God and her own humn glory ws taken away, and you, if you go after the glory which comes from men it will keep you from the glory which comes from God. It was different for Eve. No one had told her that the evil spirit would test her. That is why the Word of God came and took flesh of the Virgin Mary to free all the offspring of Eve. (p93)
God is living in you, you should be living in him
Look for what is good everywhere, be without deceit. Be like the gentle sheep. They are fleeced but say nothing (Is 53:7). Do not go from place to place sayng: I will find God here, I will find him there (Mt 24:23). God has said: I am everywhere in heaven and on earth (Jer 23:24). And again: If you cross over water I am with you. The waves will not swallow you (Is43:2). My son, you should realise that God is in you, so that you may have life in him, in his law and commands. Look: the thief was on the cross and he went into paradise, but Judas was among the Apostles and he handed his Lord over to people who hated him. Rahab was a prostitute and she was counted among the saints (Jos 2:25), but see, Eve was in paradise, and the spirit of Evil led her into sin (Gen3). Job was on a dungheap, and they say he was like his Lord, but see Adam was in God’s garden and he did not do as God commanded. The angels were in heaven and God threw them out (2 Peter 2:4), Elijah and Enoch were on earth, but they were taken up to heaven (2Kgs2:11;Heb11:5). SO we should see God in every place and look for his help at all times (Ps104:4) (p94-95)
My son, run to God, for he made you, and it was for you that he underwent those sufferings. For he said by the mouth of the Prophet Isaiah: I offered my back to the whips and my head to the blows. I did not turn my face away from the shame. (Is50:6) (p99)
To love is to build up (1Cor8:1) (p103)
Yes, even if we keep our virginity, and choose to live in poverty and solitude. God will still say to us: “Give me back my goods with interest” (Mt25:27) Angrily he will say to us: “Where is your robe for the bridal-feast? (Mt22:11,12) Where is your shining light? (Mt5:15,16; 25:10-12) (p107)
We must attend to ourselves and recognise God’s gifts. (p107)
Humility is the greatest strength
More than all this, we have been given humility. It keeps all God’s gifts safe. It is that great and holy strength which the Son of God put on when he came into the world. Humility is a strengthening wall and a storehouse for God’s gifts, protective clothing to keep us safe in the fight, and healing for every wound. At the time of the Exodus the Hebrews made soft linens and things of gold for the tabernacle. But at God’s order they covered it all over with a tent of goats hair (Ex26:7-11,14). Humility is least prized among men but in the eyes of God it is of great value. If we obtain it, we shall be able to crush underfoot all the power of the Evil One. God himself has said: “Who is the man to whom I look? He that is humble and gentle.” (Is66:2) (p110-111)
Let us keep watch with a good heart
Let us fight against ourselves in all ways that we are able. Let us put to death our bad desires and we shall become new men, in purity. Let us loves others, and we shall be friends of Christ, who is friend of all men and women. We have given our oath to God that our life will be monastic, which is to love, and for that we keep virginity not only of body but the virginity that is a weapon against every sin. (p112)
God commands us to work, not to have a soft living but to have enough to help the poor (p113)
Keep your strength of purpose (p114)
Use well every day of your existence and in the morning think what you will offer to God that day (p115)
Without delay, look for a safe place by yourself with God. Be by yourself with Christ, weeping, and the Spirit of Jesus will speak to you through your thoughts. (p117)
“Forgive me Lord. I have given pain to your image.” (Gen1:26) (p117)
This months Spiritual Reading group looked at the written works of Dag Hammerskjold – particularly Markings, you can read the notes here.
I found myself thinking in the session, ‘How did I not hear of Dag Hammerskjold before today?’ The book Markings is a fascinating insight to the work of God in someones life and the privilege of private insight into the struggle and conflict within ourselves from who we are to whom You intend for us to become. Dag Hammerskjold was known as a diplomat and economist – predominantly for his role as Secretary-General at the UN. it was only when Markings was published posthumously that we discover he was also a theologian – vocationally a secular monastic – he didn’t join an order or marry but found his own way ‘what makes loneliness an anguish in not that I have no one to share my burden, But this: I have only my burden to bear…’ Dag seems to have lived a selfless life. I am certain he was not perfect and would lay honest claim to his own hard-headed mistakes but he sought and he found something and I think that is the best of what any of us can hope for.
Tired
And lonely,
So tired
The heart aches.
Meltwater trickles
Down the rocks,
The fingers are numb,
The knees tremble.
It is now,
Now that you must not give in.
On the path of the others
Are resting places,
Places in the sun
Where they can meet.
But this
Is your path,
And it is now,
Now that you must not fail.
Weep
If you can,
Weep,
But do not complain.
The way chose you –
And you must be thankful.
A hermit said, ‘When you flee from the company of other people, or when you despise the world and worldlings, take care to do so as it if were you who was being idiotic’. (p83)
A brother sinned and the presbyter ordered him to go out of church. But Bessarion got up and went out with him, saying, ‘I, too, am a sinner.’ (p84)
In Scetis a brother was found guilty. They assembled the brothers, and sent a message to Moses telling him to come. But he would not come. The the presbyter sent again saying, ‘Come, for the gathering of monks is waiting for you.’
Moses got up and went. He took with him an old basket, which he filled with sand and carried on his back.
They went to him and said, ‘What does this mean, abba?’
He said, ‘My sins run out behind me and I do not see them and I have come here today to judge another.’
They listened to him and said no more to the brother who had sinned but forgave him. (p85)
If you are angry with your brother for any kind of trouble that he gives you, that is anger without a cause (Matt 5:22) But if anyone wants to seperate you from God, then you must be angry with him. (p100)
If a man answers before he has heard, it is foolishness to him and discredit (Ecclesiastes 11:8). If you are asked, speak; if not, say nothing. (p102)
In the field of personality and character growth too, the law of polarity is constantly at work. e.g. a balance must be found between the conscious and unconscious, between individual and community, between masculinity and femininity. Every attribute exists in a state of tension and balance with an opposite characteristic in our personality. The greater the tension that can be tolerated between these qualities, the more creative and productive it will be. If the tension is dissolved by favouring one virtue and denying the other, the inter-play is lost and growth ceases. Even the value which was favoured becomes lifeless and sterile. Therefore faith in God needs to stand in the proper balance with faith in oneself; love of self must be allowed to exist in tension with love of others. The well-balanced mature personality will be able to handle both freedom and submission, independence and dependence. The mature person will know when to be an introvert and whent o be an extrovert; furthermore one must keep a balance between the physical and the spiritual; the intellect and feeling; sensation and intuition; knowledge and love; orderliness and spontaneity. We must be both choleric and melancholic; sanguine and phlegmatic; full of self-confidence yet fully confident in God, courageous but prudent. (p23)
itellyouarise 