Tag Archive: sacrifice
Today is one of those days with so many things to do I’m not really sure where to start and here I lie in the sun by the duck pond with You.
You make sense of everything, so I know if I bring them here before You, You can sort the wheat form the chaff, by Your grace I achieve all or none of it. I offer these tasks, my time like a sacrifice on an altar before You in the hope it pleases You and fear it will not.
It is not about volume or perfection in the sacrifice but the renewed commitment to be Your servant in all things. Help me not to hold things tightly, not to imagine I have plans, the means of achieving them or really any measure of control – only give me willing, resiliency and openness to change. Where Your will moves things get done and I want to be there to bear witness to Your power.
A Lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton
The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice.
Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage.
Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.
I like this Dinosaur thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny.
He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.
I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur.
She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice.
She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.
But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
He is also overly fond of things.
Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?
But her mind skips from here to there so quickly thought the Dinosaur.
She is also uncommonly keen on shopping.
Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?
I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.
I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur.
For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides,
I am not unkeen on shopping either.
Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old.
Look at them.
Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.
And that, my friends, is how it is with love.
Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together.
For the sun is warm.
And the world is a beautiful place
This months Spiritual Reading group looked at the written works of Dag Hammerskjold – particularly Markings, you can read the notes here.
I found myself thinking in the session, ‘How did I not hear of Dag Hammerskjold before today?’ The book Markings is a fascinating insight to the work of God in someones life and the privilege of private insight into the struggle and conflict within ourselves from who we are to whom You intend for us to become. Dag Hammerskjold was known as a diplomat and economist – predominantly for his role as Secretary-General at the UN. it was only when Markings was published posthumously that we discover he was also a theologian – vocationally a secular monastic – he didn’t join an order or marry but found his own way ‘what makes loneliness an anguish in not that I have no one to share my burden, But this: I have only my burden to bear…’ Dag seems to have lived a selfless life. I am certain he was not perfect and would lay honest claim to his own hard-headed mistakes but he sought and he found something and I think that is the best of what any of us can hope for.
Tired
And lonely,
So tired
The heart aches.
Meltwater trickles
Down the rocks,
The fingers are numb,
The knees tremble.
It is now,
Now that you must not give in.
On the path of the others
Are resting places,
Places in the sun
Where they can meet.
But this
Is your path,
And it is now,
Now that you must not fail.
Weep
If you can,
Weep,
But do not complain.
The way chose you –
And you must be thankful.
“The radical church is the fastest-dying church in the world”
Myers, C. (1988) Binding the Strongman Orbis.
DISCIPLESHIP AND FAILURE: “YOU WILL ALL DESERT ME”
At the time, his words could hardly have hit home any harder, I ws still recovering from the painful breakup of my own community, the loss of home and marriage. I had never expected that the “cross” would take this shape. If readers of this book still feel it is an exercise in imaginative idealism, they should be aware that Mark’s vision is flesh to me, flesh seared and scarred. I have seen business-as-usual rudely disrupted by the kairos of the call, seen the vision of radical discipleshhip community realized. And more importantly, I have also seen those dreams fade, seen our best attempts to weave a fabric of hope and wholeness unravel, seen good persons bail out.
The radical discipleship movement today is beleaguered and weary. So many of our communities, which struggled so hard to integrate the pastoral and prophetic, the personal and the political, resistance and contemplation, work and recreation, love and justice, are disintegrating. The powerful centrifugal forces of personal and social alienation tear us apart; the “gravity” exerted by imperial culture’s seductions, deadly mediocrities, and deadly codes of conformity pull our aspirations plummeting down. Our economic and political efforts are similarly beseiged. The ability of metropolis to either crush or co-opt movements of dissent seems inexhaustable.
‘to love our neighbours as ourselves’ is a common belief across all faiths.
Sometimes feel depressed – actually those are things worth feeling depressed about (global financial crisis, global warming…) We are complicit in an exploitative system. Fills us with sorrow. Accept it as a reasonable response and don’t let it incapacitate me.
Joy and sorrow can co-exist. Sadder the older I get.
Nehemiah – the joy of the Lord is my strength. In the midst of my sorrow need to find a reason for hope/joy. God is always there. God brings joy. Need a spiritual discipline of finding God in sorrow. In all things God is working for good. When we find God in a situation we will find good. Get up everyday and find something I can rejoice in: within myself, in my relationship with my wife, my family, my community…
Action research – look for problems. Find them. Generate more à become overwhelmed e.g. “what do you see as the problems in our relationship?”, ask your partner that question and you will have found some problems to work on!
Appreciative research – peak experience, best practice. What do you like about our relationship? Why? How could we do this more often in the future? E.g. what are the best times we’ve had together? What made them good? How could we have them more often?
Dealing with the negative in a more positive framework is more energy-giving.
What is truly there? Something about how it operates that sustains it – start from that. E.g. people will keep running a programme long beyond when it is sustainable, it must be because there is something in that worth saving.
Positions polarise – close down options into one of two. Those positions harden and it becomes difficult to see resolution. Ask “why?” of both sides to draw out fears and desires. See if there are solutions beyond their positions that meet desires and address fears. Not easy and not quick. Fear of the process greater than need to change. E.g. building mosque – the side against were concerned about increased traffic flow and parking, Muslim people feared religious intolerance in their community.
Several options that can look like:
– No existing relationship, no interest in a common goal
– Committed to action, regardless of how it affects other relationships
– Relationship so important, need to NOT act. Can’t risk it.
– Do have a relationship – are interested in resolution (partial/unlimited)
Community with family:
Plan our time together and there are different kinds:
– Non-negotiable time, this belongs to my wife and family and it cannot be given away
– Non-negotiable time, give freely to everybody – don’t need to talk about it
– Negotiable, to family or community
It is easy to give up something that is not important to yourself on behalf of someone else e.g. living without a fridge in India – easy for Dave to commit to but not for his wife àfundamental injustice. Only sacrifice what is mine, not what belongs to others. Sometimes excruciating to negotiate, ‘worst way of doing it, apart from all the other ways’. Consequences of not negotiating – more painful. Negotiating is a heavy process. Something that is life-giving for me might also be death-giving t someone else – have to negotiate to a cost. Often these aren’t win:win but rather choose what is life-giving for her this time and hope that it will roll around to my turn next time. Important to be putting the other person first.
When first started this work it was all or nothing. Gave freely and fully. Became hurt. You can help and resource others without risking anything but you can’t love them. Need to be willing/able to be vulnerable. I was becoming increasingly hardened. Prayed. God is love. To reflect God to the world need to show love. Get hurt along the way and now scared. Need to ask ourselves: what can we do today to reach out to those around us so if its not reciprocated or appreciated it won’t destroy us?
Want to risk but can’t take the same amount every day. A given that we will reach out but give ourselves permission to say how much we are able to risk. E.g. could be the difference between jumping in my car to go to work and only waving at my neighbours on the ways past, or walk out the door and seek people out but only talk about what is ‘light, right, nice, polite’ – no capacity to go to the depths, or go up to one person and go deep: “I’m sorry that we aren’t getting on so well, love to shout you a coffee sometime and talk about it…”
Need to monitor our own degrees of vulnerability. Become bitter if give more than we can give happily.
Sacrificial giving – condemn Pharisees who only give a little themselves and exploit widows. Exploit our desire to be generous and then guilt-trip is for more. Jesus was willing to die but not every day, most times Jesus ran away – only died once. No one takes my life from me but I can lie it down. Sacrifice. We will take a stand and get done over, but not every day.
Need to think about our choices in relation to our partners/kids. E.g. if I am away on holiday for 14 days – need to manage myself to be back, present and attentive, on day 15. Otherwise that is time that I have stolen from my wife and kids.
So many voices, culture, choices in our head driving us – seek out still small voice (role of the Holy Spirit). For myself, get a blank piece of paper and write things down with an arrow beside them
Arrow pointing upwards: things I want to ask God
Arrow pointing downwards: things God tells me
~ this becomes my ‘to do’ list
Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can and the wisdom to know it’s me.
Turning inwards, that job will never be complete. But others seeing you on the journey might be inspired to become more like you. Teach me the lessons I need to learn so that I can be useful to someone else in the future.
Appreciative inquiry – if actions are oppressing a third party: have to intervene. In some occasions you can avoid/walk away but others you must intervene.
Becoming involved in conflict:
Keep your distance – a) helps situation not to escalate and b) gives you a head start if you need to run. Say something like “hey mate, can I help you something?” address the perpetrator not the victim. Will think you’re on their side. Want to protect them from harm themselves. Always frightened and fearful when getting involved. If fair fight might sometimes keep walking but not if someone is out-numbered or overpowered.
Be gentle on ourselves. Can be our own worst enemy and our own best friend. Rather than seeking validation from others, seek how God sees me. My needs and ideas are valid too. Can’t wait for someone else to tell me that. Desire for acceptance/approval. “The Lucifer effect”
In the context of God’s validation, accept ourselves.
Activist/doing – gets approval. Hard work of seeking God and being still – becoming aware of our own faults and limitations. Can ‘survive’ and not maintain your soul. What is the bottom line of what you are willing to compromise of your faith/values? E.g. in a concentration camp: some did anything to survive, even kill other jews (had a life, but no soul), others were reformers preaching hope/outspoken, executed quickly (had soul but not their life), third type would not intervene in someone being beaten but would not engage in brutality themselves (both soul and life).
Whether they fire or shoot me won’t do ….
What is the bottom line of what you are willing to compromise of your faith/values?
To you
I have given
I want to be with you
along the way you have chosen
To work
to flow the vital current of my life
towards our high vision.
To be about you
holding your being that I have not yet touched
near to the untouched hiddenness of me.
I need the wonder of you
that I have known
on magnificent mornings
to be fresh upon me;
and the smell of summer
to be in my blood;
and the lark-song that we have heard
on dry hot days on mountains
to beat in me
forever.
Eithne Strong
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