Tag Archive: hospitality


Making Space

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Christop Booth sharing a workshop on making a cup of tea -“at the Indigenous Hospitality House we’ve found that sharing tea can help to make space for the stranger and can be an opportunity for reconciliation”.

Make a cup of tea…

What are your associations?

What do we know about its origins and history?

When we reflect on any every day activity, we might consider…

  • how do we want to change the world?
  • how does this activity connect me to people/world/environment/others we will never meet
  • how might I bring sacred/imbue meaning to the activity

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Of communion, Jesus says I will not take this drink again until
I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.

On Sunday 14 February we held a picnic lunch at the immigration detention centre in Maribyrnong. The first Sunday of Lent (and Valentines Day- let’s show the love) would often have a focus theme of a continued call to conversion the intention of the picnic was to physically create the space we would like to live in – that kingdom where Jesus might join us for a drink – even if only for an hour. How can we make that grass verge feel like space of celebration and welcome? How can we extend the expression of hospitality and welcome that we would like to see shown to refugees and asylum seekers?

With yarn bombing, banners, different flags, welcome in different languages, families and at each picnic blanket a spare place set at the table – a visual demonstration that there is room at the table for the ‘other’ and enough food to share.

In the face of the continued and indefinite detention of refugees and asylum seekers including children and New Zealanders now the second highest number of those held in off-shore detention – we seek to respond with an act of hospitality, an act of welcome, and act of love – witnessing there is room at THIS communion table.

***

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Wominjeka, we acknowledge that we gather on the land of which the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation have gathered since time immemorial to tell stories, sing songs and share food together. We are gathered here today to do a little of all these things ourselves: tell stories, sing songs and share some food together around this idea of showing welcome to refugees and asylum seekers and we have chosen a specific place, time and context in which to do that.

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We are standing here in the carpark of what is now the VicUni Student Village…this used to be the site of the Pyrotechnic Section of an Explosives Factory (1942) which was built to produce flares, tracers and smoke grenades during the Second World War… a section of this was converted to the Maribyrnong Migrant Hostel (1966). Over here behind us is the new purpose-built Maribyrnong Immigration Detention Centre (1983) – we are standing where refugees and migrants have been arriving for the last 50 years.

We are standing here at a particular time.  Today is Sunday 14 February, the first Sunday of Lent and Valentines Day – let’s show the love! The first Sunday of Lent would often have a focus theme of a continued call to conversion and the intention of this picnic is to physically create the kingdom space we would like to live in – demonstrating the kind of welcome and abundant hospitality we as Christians believe Jesus might extend and asking of our own discipleship how we feel called to respond.

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We are gathering during a particular context.  The Premier of our own state has come out against the federally legislated law, medical practitioners are refusing to sign off of returning patients to off-shore detention and the UN has condemned the treatment of refugees as breaching human rights… the government, media, society are all sending strong messages – in an environment that seems more focused on reacting out of fear than love, how might we respond with clarity and compassion?IMG_7334

We have folded layers of symbolism into our picnic today… you can see the crocheted heart bunting by Bron for Valentines Day, we have flags representing some of those countries and cultures making up the population of those in our detention centres, and we have empty plates – places set at the table for the ‘other’.  We live with asylum IMG_7343seekers and refugees, we invited them to write the word WELCOME in the language of their cultures on one of the plates and symbolically be represented here and we remember those stories that are still unfolding.

That is about as much story as there is from me, so let’s move on to the singing! We’re very lucky to have Sam here to be the lead liturgist today so look to her for any cues – we’re not going to sing these through a set number of times or anything, we’ll just keep going until she signals otherwise.

So, I will invite you to stand if you want to, in this place, at this time in this context and sing with me, this is not a new idea… we sing in the tradition of so many justice movements: civil rights, suffragettes, apartheid, slavery…in the words of Ched Myers to “Sing about it, until it can be realised”.

This first one is from the Ngatiawa River Monastry, up the Kapiti Coast of New Zealand, a contemporary contemplative community retreat centre.

 

Given for you  [link here to original version on the Ngatiawa website]

 This is my body given for you

Remember me.

This is my blood of forgiveness,

Remember me.

 

Tricia Watts is an Australian singer, composer, she’s used singing and dance for advocacy and therapy and to call people to unite in heart and voice. This next song is from her resource titled ‘Sanctuary’.   We want to offer Sanctuary, we want to link hand in hand, we want to hear the voice of justice cry.

 

Justice Cry

Hear the voice of justice cry,

Moving through our land,

Ringing out oer hills and plains,

Linking hand in hand.

 

Well, I guess the credit or the blame for this one is on me… many of you will have heard of the Love Makes A Way movement. They have undertaken a variety of actions but in particular sitting in politicians offices and praying for them has attracted media coverage. What might be less known, is that while the actions are being undertaken inside, there is a support team outside praying, singing and bearing witness to, and holding vigil with, what happens within. Samara has been one of the people playing that part and collating a Love Makes A Way song book. And as we were talking about it once we remarked the we were drawing heavily on the Freedom songs of the civil rights movement but their style and language were written for a particular context and a particular time – certainly we can borrow their songs but Samara posed the questions “Where are our songs? Where is the style or the voice arising out of our own context?” This song came out of trying to answer that… as I looked at the Freedom songs I felt like they communicated grief but called for hope, they were often short and memorable because as your walking around you need songs people can just pick up even if they don’t have the words in front of them. I wrote this trying to find words for a situation I don’t have words to explain. You might feel moved to offer your own words here in a verse … there is room for the children, there is room in our playgrounds… feel free to lead us! Speaking specifically to context, this was originally written “Let them in, let them in” but with the Sanctuary #LetThemStay initiative just this past week as we were rehearsing we changed it to read “Let them in, let them stay”

 

There is room

There is room at the table (x3)

Let them in, let them stay.

 

There is room at the border (x3)

Let them in, let them stay.

 

There is room in our hearts (x3)

Let them in, let them stay.

 

There is hope for a new tomorrow (x3)

Let them in, let them stay.

 

Flowing on from the last song and our desire to have local songs coming out of our own context, I had a look around for who might already be producing words that hold this sense of lament and hope, short and memorable… this led me to make up the melody for the round you’re about to hear to Leunigs Love Is Born.  I think Leunig is a bit of a prophet, speaking out of hope and darkness, on behalf of many voices… I think “love is born”.

 

Love is Born [link here to a recording by Nathan Brailey]

Love is born with a dark and troubled face

When hope is dead and in a most unlikely place

Love is born,

Love is always born.

Love is born,

Love is always born.

This little ‘set’ wouldn’t be complete without a rousing Hallelujah chorus from the Freedom songs of the civil rights movement – it’s hard to know who to give credit to because groups of musicians gathered for “Sing for Freedom” workshops and wrote them together.  These songs were written to be a call for integration and confrontation of the status quo.  African-Americans in the 60s in the South were singing “Were gonna sit at the welcome table”, today we have to acknowledge that we’re already sitting at the welcome table, or the welcome picnic blanket… Again, you might be moved to call out a chorus of your own making! {e.g. We’re gonna share our songs and stories} By Samara’s hand now we will sing “they’re” as we aspirationally hold space and hope that those inside will one day come outside and join us at this table.

 

They’re gonna sit at the welcome table

They’re gonna sit at the welcome table

They’re gonna sit at the welcome table one of these days (hallelujah)

They’re gonna sit at the welcome table

Sit at the welcome table one of these days (one of these days)

 

They’re gonna feast on milk and honey

They’re gonna feast on milk and honey one of these days, (hallelujah)

They’re gonna feast on milk and honey

Feast on milk and honey one of these days (one of these days)

 

A-ll God’s chil-dren gonna sit to-gether

Yes, a-ll God’s chil-dren gonna sit together one of these days (hallelujah)

A-ll God’s child-ren gonna sit to-gether

All God’s children gonna sit together, one of these days (one of these days)

 

They’re gonna sit at the welcome table

Yes, they’re gonna sit at the welcome table one of these days, (hallelujah)

They’re gonna sit at the welcome table

Sit at the welcome table one of these days (one of these days)

Sit at the welcome table one of these days, (one of these days)

Gonna sit at the welcome table one of these days (one of these days)

 

Thanks so much for making the time today to come here – to stand, to sing, in a particular place, at a particular time, in a particular context to say something.

Let’s enjoy the picnic!

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Further rough notes for those interested in the background of how this picnic came about:

Last year, Mayra and I went to a conference called the Kinsler Institute and heard an amazing activist and speaker Bill Wylie-Kellerman doing a session on ‘Liturgy as Activism’.  He is the Minister of an Episcopal Church in Detroit where they’re experiencing some severe water cut offs and he described a Good Friday Stations of the Cross walk where they stood outside the water company, at the river, at block where there is only one house with people still living in it… there was something about singing or praying or standing in a particular place, at a particular time, in a particular context to say something that made it more powerful.

We came back from that conference inspired to imagine what a Stations of the Cross walk  might look like for our own context here in Footscray – we went to the Palms Motel where they provide crisis accommodation for people experiencing homelessness, we went to the river and reflected on the impacts of climate change, we came here to the Maribyrnong detention centre … most of you will know of the Christian tradition of communion, sharing bread and wine together, this is done symbolically because Jesus says ‘I won’t eat this again with you until I see you in my Father’s kingdom’. In a church we have communion and we eat it as a reminder of that promise… well, we came here and compared what it must feel like for refugees who take a long and dangerous journey to get here, who expect to find shelter, and safety and hospitality and instead…  we passed around an empty cup and an empty plate as a symbol of the kind of hospitality people have experienced arriving here.

Of communion, Jesus says I will not take this drink again until
I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.

We decided on Sunday 14 February we would hold a picnic lunch at the immigration dentention centre in Maribyrnong.

The first Sunday of Lent (and Valentines Day- let’s show the love) would often have a focus theme of a continued call to conversion the intention of the picnic was to physically create the space we would like to live in – that kingdom where Jesus might join us for a drink – even if only for an hour. How can we make that grass verge feel like space of celebration and welcome? How can we extend the expression of hospitality and welcome that we would like to see shown to refugees and asylum seekers?

With yarn bombing, banners, different flags, welcome in different languages, families and at each picnic blanket a spare place set at the table – a visual demonstration that there is room at the table for the ‘other’ and enough food to share.

In the face of the continued and indefinite detention of refugees and asylum seekers including children and New Zealanders now the second highest number of those held in off-shore detention – we seek to respond with an act of hospitality, an act of welcome, and act of love – witnessing there is room at THIS communion table.

Why here? A conversion of the New Pyrotechnic Section of the Explosives Factory Maribyrnong established in 1942 to produce flares, tracers and smoke grenades – the Maribyrnong Migrant Hostel first opened in 1966. Part of an ambitious assisted migration scheme that was implemented by the Commonwealth government in the late 1940s in order to increase Australia’s population. Until it was discontinued in 1981, this program saw thousands of British, European and Asian migrants start a new life in this country, temporarily accommodated in government hostels until they were able to buy or rent a house of their own. The Hostel has accommodated migrants from almost every national group that has arrived in Australia since World War II. Initially these were people from Britain and Europe but the later migrants arrived from Asia and South America and people escaping political upheavals in places such as Hungary, Chile and Vietnam. The hostel at various times also accommodated naval personnel, apprentices and evacuees from Darwin after Cyclone Tracy in 1974. Attempts by migrants to personalise their surrounding are apparent in a mural of windmills and tulips by Dutch migrants painted on the side of one of the surviving concrete bunker structures and a mural of an Asian scene that appears to have been painted by Vietnamese migrants on a section of wall of one of the ammunition stores located next to the Phillip Centre. This building also includes a number of paintings by children on its walls. Staff of the migrant centre also erected a large aviary attached to the former electrical substation that was part of the pyrotechnic works. (onmydoorstep.com.au/heritage-listing/35583/former-maribyrnong-migrant-hostel).  These site spaces are now occupied by Victoria University and in the last few years used predominantly for student accommodation.

The current, purpose-built, Maribyrnong Immigration Detention Centre (IDC) was opened in 1983, set up for people who have over-stayed their visas, had their visa cancelled, or who have been denied entry into the country through international airports and seaports.  Unlike the Broadmeadows IDC which has been home to families and children, Maribyrnong IDC has been home for mostly adult single male detainees identified as medium/high risk and therefore it is a site that has had higher security.

In June, the Australian Citizenship Amendment (Allegiance to Australia) Bill 2015 was passed.  The Citizenship Act has always said that if a foreign citizen or foreign national fights for a foreign country at war with Australia, they automatically cease to be an Australian citizen. Fair enough. The Bill adds three new categories of circumstances which will bring about the same result.

  1. Fighting for a terrorist organisation – still with you…
  2. Convictions for certain offences – if you’re a foreign citizen or national and you are convicted of any of a long list of criminal offences, your citizenship will automatically cease.
  3. Acting inconsistently with your allegiance to Australia – what does that even mean?

The protocol is that ASIO notices you’ve done a particular thing and tells the Immigration Minister who deports you. To do that, he has to accept that the factual allegations are correct. You have no right to be heard before he does so. You can contest it later but by this time you’re already on a plane.

(you can read more about this here if you’re interested: abc.net.au/news/2015-06-25/bradley-how-you-could-lose-your-citizenship/6572382)

At 30 December 2015, there were 1,792 people in held immigration detention facilities. Of these 1,792 people, around 18.6 per cent were from Iran, 10.2 per cent were from New Zealand, 8.0 per cent were from Sri Lanka, 6.5 per cent were from China and 6.3 per cent were from Vietnam. (Department of Immigration and Border Protection).

New immigration laws brought into effect back in December 2014 mean that anyone who has served a jail sentence of 12 months or more in Australia could be deported.  “We don’t want people who get into trouble, who have a criminal record, and those who fit into that category will have their visas cancelled and sent back to where they came from,” Australian senator Ian Macdonald said, saying that New Zealanders can’t expect special treatment.
“We love our cousins across the ditch but they must be subject to the same laws as everyone else.” [ The Australian, 29 Sept 2015]

It may be that New Zealanders thought they were being treated by the same laws as everyone else when they were convicted, served time and released just as an Australian might be.  That once they had observed due process and due punishment they were free to resume normal life, 5000 New Zealanders have done time in the last 10 years and these changes mean they can retrospectively be sent home.  I’m not trying to be permissive or whitewash anything these people have done. Clearly they are convicted criminals all. But surely we must ask whether it is fair to punish them now, again, a new law applied to an old crime?  These who might have family here, work here, barrack for an AFL team here… is it justifiable?  Is it justice?

With all these legislative changes, the population of the Maribyrnong IDC has housed both of these groups – convicted criminals whose visas are cancelled and are being sent back to where they came from side by side with refugees seeking asylum and safety.  I can’t find a number for 2015 but between 2010-2014 the number of “boat people” identified as legitimate refugees is over 90% in each year.  The treatment of the asylum seekers and the treatment of the criminals is the same. “Hard-line” centre managers from the prison system have been brought in – ex-prison guards who have a very different culture and mentality to officers who have been trained to guard asylum seekers amidst outbreaks of racial violence and hunger strikes .

People come to Australia with the hope of a better life but they are kept in the same place, and in many ways treated similarly, as criminals.  A friend of ours who has visited here – a refugee herself – has shared stories of the intimidation to herself of the conditions of entry; the boredom, the frustration, the fear, the hopelessness, the despair of those she met inside. She had her own complex needs but returned again and again not only to meet the hunger for Arabic home cooking, but for stories and news of life outside.

The latest development is this: all refugees in Maribyrnong are due to be moved to Broadmeadows which has recently had a high security upgrade. They were due to be moved already but it hasn’t happened yet – we have no way of knowing if this will occur prior to 14th of February.  This comes at a high cost to those at Broadmeadows IDC because along with the higher fence, more guards and greater security screening, comes heavier dehumanisation.

And, you know, some of the symbolism of our picnic is lost.

Or is it?

What a contrast over fifty years between a hostel and a prison, between encouraging people to move to Australia and border control to keep them out… but this place, this space, is where weapons were made that were used during World War II then offered a new start to some of the refugees of that conflict.  What has been used for building harm in this place has been transformed for building hope before… maybe we can build it again.

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It is quite a grey day so I write in yellow.  I am contrary like that and also I want to honour the the field of dandelions I am sitting in.  Nesting season is over and they have cut back the reeds so that we can see the water again – the stillness, shadows and reflections.  I lie here and just be while the birds talk amongst themselves. Not in an exclusive way, just going about their day, as I am mine, near each other.

It has been a morning of following instincts… touch, walk, taste, stretch, lie and listen.

What joy is this?

More than I deserve I am sure but my heart is glad.

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Maria and I share lunch at French Baguette – $5 rolls with salty pork, fresh herbs and chilli with dressing, you have to love the Footscray cheap eats.  We talk about what is and what may be… she is gifted with dreams and visions.  We might accept things need not be easy but we pray they might be not quite so hard… have to start somewhere but God we commit this process and the 3-monthly visa application renewal to You.  Let there be security where there may be security and provision for our need – our dependence is in You, yes, and our trust and hope also.

Home to do some job applications with Mohammed.  Yes, they came here for a new start.  The reward for completing their English bridging programme is a New Start Allowance that requires 20 job applications a month.  Today, in two hours, we did four.  Mutually exhausting our capacity to explain and to understand. God, we commit this process also to Your keeping.  It would be so much easier for him to have a day pushing trolleys or stacking shelves than maintaining a commitment to 20 applications in a month.  May he find something soon Insha’Allah… as You will.

Three loads of laundry in from the line, then I head out with a ladder to pick the remaining apricots. They’re overripe but I hate to see them go entirely to the birds – especially when they are such a treat!  I have par-boiled some for stewing – pie, crumble, with muesli… and made a big batch of jam resulting in 24 jars lined up on the counter.  My impromptu jam-making catches the kitchen unawares and I realise I do not have the kilos of sugar required myself to commit to seeing the project through.  Everyone raids their cupboards in our share house and we hit our 2 kilo target finishing off 8 packets of white, castor, soft brown, raw, demerara and even then emptying the sugar bowl.

We are all in this together. Everyone has something to give.

God, I am grateful for the abundance today and every day – that meets our need.  This [January] is when we store up for times of hospitality and sharing to come.

Store us up. Store us up.

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Christmas: A story about a Middle East family seeking refuge.

Tonight we will share together time singing carols and at contemplative stations that invite us to engage in reflection around and respond to this Christmas message. We will reflect on ideas of welcome, hospitality, divinity and explore those gifts extended to us in those advent ideas of hope, joy, peace and love in our troubled times.

Prayer stations are essentially several points of “focus” that invite you to encounter God in some way. You can spend all your time at one or make your way around several, or all of them, as you like – spending as much or as little time at each of them as you like. They are not in any special order.

This space is for silent, personal reflection. Each station generally has something to read and something to do that invites you to respond to what you have read, such as lighting a candle.

Using the charming children’s story by Mem Fox called Wombat Divine, we look at the roles that we are called to play in this Story we all participate in. What role can you play?

 

As we receive cards from distant friends and family, and our papers and social media are filled with what might be deemed bad news, it can be hard to know how to respond – let’s take a moment to hang those words, phrases and images that feel meaningful, for ourselves, our neighbours, our country, our world. What has been weighing on you lately?

 

At the set table we can “meet” some of those guests who show up in Luke’s narrative of the nativity – relatives, shepherds, angels… These guests are interspersed with images from the recent Beyond Borders photo exhibition documenting unique stories of asylum seekers and refugees.  How do you respond to unexpected guests?

 

We come together for more carols by the nativity scene in the Chapel when there is an opportunity to make a gift in support of the work of the staff and patients at the Al-Ahli Arab Hospital, the only hospital serving the 1.4 million population of Palestinians living in the violence-devastated Gaza Strip.  Hope where there is seemingly no hope.  An image of a mother and her child in juxtaposition to the nativity.

 

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love is born

Leunig

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Today we shared lunch, laughs and beautiful food with people that we love. We gave everyone a gift hamper of love. The Yarrambat House Church community once again serving us a beautiful Christmas lunch.

 

advent prayer

prayer by Bron Hayward

grace

“You should share communion together,
it has a unique power to unite beyond words”
Peter (Chappo) Chapman

Very pleased to present this little number…

This resource is the result of a collaboration between Elizabeth Taylor, myself and the many vibrant alternative discipleship communities sharing hospitality and, indeed, grace around Victoria. Such as: Common Rule, Cornerstone, Footscray Salvos, GraceTree, Indigenous Hospitality House,  MannaGum, Missio Dei,  Newmarket Baptist Church, Seeds, The Cave & Transfiguration Community, UCA, Urban Seed and the many more who serve, share and speak grace spontaneously, silently or scarcely – you know who are.  We acknowledge that we do so on the land of the peoples of the Kulin Nations.

We decided to make this as a kind of snapshot in time of radical discipleship expression in and around Melbourne and to encourage one another – we don’t often get to get around the table together but we do go back to our separate spaces and share meals in community.

Elizabeth’s beautiful and colourful visual images were inspired by the language of the prayers, varied and lovely. Done in a loose watercolour style we are offered a birdseye view of a table full of food, with hands around the edges sharing and eating, different types of food, the hands that prepare and acknowledgement of the earth that produces.

We share this abundance, from our table to yours,
in acknowledgement and celebration of the bigger Grace extended to us all.

Free PDF (or LMS accessibility supported copy) available by request.

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Wake up

My alarm went off at 7.30am. “Wha-?” Snooze.

Why did I set it early again? Not work… Oh. I remember I need to walk to Maidstone via an ATM to collect a network repeater I bought off the local Buy/Swap/Sell Facebook group.

The alarm sounds again. Snooze.

This is not how I thought my weekend was going to go… I had Friday/Saturday clear – maybe to write and have some sacred space. One housemate is away at a wedding and school holidays have started, things will be quiet around the house.  Yet somehow a conversation has started up about supporting a family of refugees who are staying in two rooms at The Palms. They’re approved for housing but the waiting list could mean anywhere between days and months or, let’s face it, months and years before a 5 bedroom place with disability access comes up.  At the motel they will run through their income for a fortnight purely on accommodation leaving nothing for transport and food.  It seems on Monday they will move in with us.

I wonder whether anyone might imagine that this is some extraordinary thing?

The room swap for my shift-working housemates’ peace may now be a bit redundant.  We have four bathrooms between three units which felt very luxurious not to have to negotiate, though to cycle through 6 new others might take some negotiation, similarly with the use of the kitchen when dinner is in progress.  My head keeps going through the details – need: beds, bedding, another fridge…

The alarm sounds again. Snooze.

…and more internet, which means a wireless signal repeater, which means you have to get up now and go and collect it.


 

The signal repeater is in place.  The signal is extending further than it did before but it’s not any stronger.

These are the the basic tenets of our faith: I was homeless and you gave me shelter, hungry and you gave me something to eat, disconnected and you gave me connection.

This is what we are called to.

Is how it will inconvenience us the place to start our discernment about it?

I believe in Your ability to provide not only the practical and material things but also for the mental, emotional and spiritual needs of our community.

I do not need to be able to see the way forward as long as I can see You in what we are setting out to do – trusting that You know all that has been, is, and will be.

This is it. Are you ready?


 

I confess I cried a little today, re-packing and putting away boxes I had unpacked with such gratitude only days before, to make space for the others coming.  I go and walk it off: “Who is this space home for? It’s called a’share house’, what were you expecting? I want to build a foundation that is strong. Rooted.  I have lived here two weeks. Who am I to extend safety and stability to anyone else?”

I turn up a side street to get home only to realise it is a dead end. I double-back on myself and notice a cane basket of clothes out as hard waste on the verge.  I pick it up and carry it with me… a physical manifestation of providence… feel the weight of this, touch it, look at it, take it with you. Providence.  And, somehow, I feel better.

Reassured of my physical capacity for carrying things.


 

We try and create a sense of welcome.

We know there’s limited language between us so we create a bi-lingual, pictorial noticeboard that will have all our names, where we are, what we’re doing. We clear out, clean and label the cupboards our new roommates can use in the kitchen and decorate with a Somali proverb we think speaks to the the sense of home we want to create.

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somali welcome  somali proverb

And yeah.

They are not literate in Somali or English.

So, just in case anyone is ever wondering whether it is an extraordinary thing to live with a family of refugees, this is how it comes about: a series of small and ugly thoughts, some big, bright, beautiful thoughts, and some well-meaning but misguided good intentions.

Sometimes you say the wrong thing, sometimes you do the wrong thing.
Sometimes you say the right thing, sometimes you do the right thing.
You can do that in any family.

I am blessed in the trying.
My life is more noisy, more colourful, more crazy and I am the happier for it.
It starts when you stop pressing “Snooze”.

I fear

097

 

the sun shines
and I fear the grace
given to me has gone away
somewhere like a bird freed
to a better and happier place
people are fleeing, drowning, dying
fear is a relative thing
you must look at me and think
I don’t know what fear is
I fear I don’t
and that desensitises me
to you somehow
lost, cold, hungry
should I call the cops on you?
that’s only called for if you’re
taking what I don’t want to give you
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry we cannot be more generous.

 

Talitha Fraser

Hostility or hospitality?

059

I wake early on the second morning in my new house. I’m still learning the new sounds and lie half asleep trying to associate each noise to an action: that is a drawer opening, that is someone coming downstairs, that is someone going out the front door, that is someone being really careful to be quiet in the kitchen… How considerate. I roll up thinking: if I let them know I’m up, they can stop worrying about waking me.

The lights aren’t even on! How is anyone meant to get ready for work in the dark.  I flip them on to tease my housemate, “Thanks for being considerate but you don’t have to tiptoe around in the dark!”  and realise very quickly that this roughly-dressed man coming out of our pantry is not she.

I think we both froze and then I followed up with something stellar like, “Hey”

I follow that up with just what’s on the surface.

“Are you looking for something to eat?,” and continue babbling as I move into the kitchen, “Do you want toast? I could make toast. And coffee.  I can’t really function before I’ve had coffee.”

He says, “No thanks” and we move into a conversation about the purpose of the Footscray Community Outreach house.  He’s on the street and looking for housing but we’re really set up for families with children so he can’t stay here … “How did you get in?” I ask.  “Knocked”. He replies casually.

I talk about our open community dinner.  I don’t have housing referral information but if he comes back tonight I’ll print stuff out.  Eventually we run out of small talk and I indicate I need to start getting ready for work. “No problem,” he says, “I’ll show myself out.” But I follow him to the door anyway, see him out, check it latches, then check all the other latches. Just in case.

Later in the day I fire an email around: “Hey guys, think we need to be making sure the doors are secure at night. Found a community member in the kitchen at 6.30am!”

Aah, but, as it turns out, my new friend is not a known community member and I’ve been having a chat with someone whom I guess may have been casing the place looking for something to take.

There’s lots of different ways to respond to finding someone you don’t know in your kitchen at 6.30am.  Apparently, “What the hell are you doing in here? Get out!” {with optional further swearing for colour}, is a more common response…  and quite a confrontational one.

At the first point of contact, I am standing in the doorway that, as far as this guy might imagine, is the only way out of the room.  He will have to go through me to get out.

I’m in my pyjamas, I’m not wearing my glasses and (sorry to let the side down) I’m a girl.

I genuinely didn’t feel unsafe at the time.  My confusion was probably an advantage to him – had my housemate just let him in? was he known in the community? has he lived here before?  

What is your need?  I have just unpacked in the kitchen, bought some food… is there anything I would really miss? Anything I couldn’t give you?

It starts to sink in more as the community responds to my blithe email.  Housing referral information, sleeping bag, dinner, someone to be with me when he comes back to the house (it will be a bloke), clear boundaries to be communicated, all residents are informed and offered support – “How can we continue to make this feel like a safe space?”… it may have been out of the box, but as the story spreads beyond community to friends and work colleagues I am asked again and again “Why didn’t you tell him to get out!?”, I can only respond helplessly, “Well, if I’m choosing out of hostility and hospitality… I can back hospitality up yeah?”

In responding out of my pre-coffee and ignorant state I have possibly  dialed back a scenario that might have been unpleasant.  I’ll give you that.  But I am interested in what the factors were that made my response different from what it might have been  because it seems how spaces are set up and what our expectations are of those spaces purpose can impact the range of responses available to us when welcoming strangers:

 

  • I expected my home space to be a common one and for stranger to be welcome there
  • As a lead tenant of the house –  hosting folks who rock up is part of the position description
  • I expect people looking for something at 6.30am need it. I don’t do anything at 6.30am without a really good reason.

 

How can we make: “What is the need that brings you to this place?” our first consideration in responding to others? (whether that’s kids, partners, work colleagues, or randoms in off the street…)

Not a bad thing to pick up the first week on the job.

 

 

 

I followed

IMG_5600

I followed the three
through the gate
past the roadworks
down the track
imagining they led the Way.
They climbed a fence.
I spoke from my side:
“I thought you knew the Way!”
“We know a Way.”
“Oh. Well, I supposed I should follow?”
“Here.  Let us help you.”
Holding my sandwich and handbag
they politely look aside as I clamber
awkwardly to where they are standing.
“A ten for execution?”
We laugh and go On.

Talitha Fraser