Tag Archive: realism

ladder of inference stephanie crowley

As someone who lives in community I love getting my hands on “new” resources that help navigate that tricky territory of communication and expectations. I can frequently assume I know what’s going on from data, interpretation, assumptions, generalisations, conclusions… I’m a pro ladder climber – often this is fine as long as its sensitive, empathetic, preferably based out of relationship and knowing… as a personal assistant it’s great for anticipating what my team will need and preparing for it but sometimes I’m in a hurry, I skip some rungs or climb them quickly and am taking action based on decisions I’ve made that haven’t necessarily been consultative or correct.

Rehabilitative Pro tips:

  • cultivate curiosity and ask questions – is there data available I could access that I haven’t?
  • we like stories. We like stories to have a beginning a middle and an end. Sometimes a ladder climb can be the result of trying resolve or control a situation, for yourself or someone else, that is still in progress. Take a breath and consider whether your current circumstances as they are have something to teach you. There are no shortcuts. Sit with the tension of the breadth of possibility and DON’T DO OR DECIDE ANYTHING.
  • listen carefully and reflectively – check in whether what you think you understand is the message the other person is trying to deliver
  • be self-aware – sit with the initial gut/emotional response. Where does it comes from? Does what you are thinking and feeling lead you to want to “fill in the gaps” of what you don’t know?
  • good data = good information, good information = good decisions
  • there is no substitute for attaining clarity like good communication – use morning pages or catch ups more than you think you need

On living



listen to me

trying to explain myself

to You who knows me

through and through

I speak aloud,

can You hear me?

Yes, and I need to

hear myself

in the echoing silence

gun-gunh, a beat

gun-gunh, a hearts beat

gun-gunh, gun-gunh

you have to live into the answers





there are my ideas

then my reality

there are my intentions

then my reality

there are my ideals

then my reality

I live my life falling short


I live my life

my short life


I live.


Talitha Fraser

Me too Kone. Me too.


Last night we had “Prayers in the Pergola” reflecting on Armistice day and peace, William Stringfellows article ‘The Marks of Involvement’ was referenced:

“Christians are those who take history very seriously.  They regard the day-to-day existence of the world realistically, as a way of acknowledging and honouring God’s own presence and action in the real world in which human beings live and fight and love and vote and work and die. And Christians know, more sensitively and sensibly than other people, that this is a fallen world, not an evil world but the place in which death is militant and aggressive and at work in all things. Christians know that in this world in which, apart from God’s work in all things, death is the only meaning, all relationships have been broken and all human beings suffer enstrangement from one another and alienation from themselves. Of all people, Christians are the most blunt and relentless realists.  They are free to face the world as it is without flinching, without shock, without fear, without surprise, without embarrassment, without sentimentality, without guile or disguise. They are free to live in the world as it is.”

How are we living into this understanding of reality? We are called to see and understand… perhaps especially those things at which it is uncomfortable to look too closely. We do not live in isolation. In a world where war and violence affect so many – not only today’s fight but the generationally wounded – how can we speak resurrection and hope into that?