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the sweet

the sweet

still

voice of the lord

says

“I love you”

into the turbulence of my mind.

the Creator Spirit

cradles me and croons

it in my ear

“I love you”.

she sneaks up on me

from time to time

puts it out there quickly

“I love you”

and darts away.

 

I hear her

but somehow the Voice

doesn’t reach

the cold places of my heart

and I cannot believe it.

 

Yesterday I attended a service at the Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church. On the eve of Martin Luther Kings birthday it felt significant to visit somewhere where I was the ‘other’, I think I thought that experience would be something I was there to learn from, but we were met with a warmth and welcome that moved me in a way that is hard to express in words… “there is no such thing as a visitor in the house of God because we are all one body are we not?” and then hugged by almost everyone there – and not a formal, awkward or side-on hug – but a proper drawing in to the warmth of another person and being held in their arms. How can anyone doubt their welcome in the face of such hospitality?

The service started with a responsive litany:

Pastor: A child once dreamed the Voice was calling his name Samuel; fishermen once heard the Voice when a young man bid them follow; And still the Voice beckons today… can you hear?

Congregation: Here I am. Send me

Pastor: Moses protested vehemently as the Voice spoke at the burning bush; Mary stood amazed as the Voice proclaimed impending birth; And still the Voice beckons today… can you hear?

Congregation: Here I am. Send me

Rosa Parks followed the Voice to the front of the bus; Martin Luther King Jr. Heard the Voice as the bullet shattered; And still the Voice beckons today… can you hear?

Congregation: Here I am. Send me

The Voice beckons from humble places… in the tears of hungry children, in the cries of the frail and frightened elderly, in the pleas of those whose dreams have been too long deferred; and still the Voice beckons today… can you hear?

Congregation: Here I am. Send me

All: A timid believer pauses to listen to the Voice; a struggling church hears the Voice and turns; And the voice still beckons today… can you hear?


Psalm 37:23-26
The LORD makes firm the steps  of the one who delights in him;
though he may stumble, he will not fall,  for the LORD upholds him with his hand.
I was young and now I am old,  yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
They are always generous and lend freely;  their children will be a blessing

Rev Dr Martin Luther King was a compelling orator and a good man. God works through good people – not perfect people.  He once said “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”, we know his legacy in the civil rights movement in America, but did you know he advocated for South Africans in the struggle against apartheid, was an anti-war activist of the Vietnam war – he didn’t only care about desegregation, but voter registration, education and housing…?

“Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened?  Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear?” saith the Lord (Mk 8:17-18)

Martin Luther King said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” A strong representative for Black civil rights, many advisors thought it would dilute their agenda for King to advocate on other issues, but he believed so strongly in what was right, in all matters of justice being equal even as all people are created equal that he was willing to pay the cost of losing those friendships and in the end his life (King was shot while in Memphis speaking to the rights of the city sanitation workers).  He received threats against himself, his family, and his home but he kept doing the work he was called to.

“You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns. Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. ” saith the Lord  (Mk 8:33-36)

Martin Luther King said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’ “  Today at lunch we reflected on the life of Martin Niemoeller a German U-Boat commander, turned Lutheran pastor, prisoner then pacifist who said:

“First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out, because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists and I did not speak out, because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out, because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.

“But what about you? Who do you say I am?” saith the Lord (Mk 8:29)

What is God calling you to? What does the still small Voice say to you at night as you fall asleep? What does the Voice say to you in the rising and setting of the sun or the flight of a bird? What does the Voice say to you as you check on your sleeping children before finding your own rest? What does the Voice say to you when you are watching the news or reading the paper? “What is the essence of being a prophet? A prophet is a person who holds God and men in one thought at one time, at all times. Our tragedy begins with the segregation of God, with the bifurcation of the secular and sacred. We worry more about the purity of dogma than about the integrity of love. We think of God in the past tense and refuse to realize that God is always present and never, never past; that God may be more intimately present in slums than in mansions, with those who are smarting under the abuse of the callous.” From “Religion and Race,” in The Insecurity of Freedom, pp. 110-111.

“Take courage! It is I. Do not be afraid.”.” saith the Lord (Mk 6:50)

Martin Luther King is perhaps less well known for saying, “I don’t mind saying to you tonight that I’m tired of the tensions surrounding our days. I don’t mind saying to you tonight that I’m tired of living every day under the threat of death. I have no martyr complex. I want to live as long as anybody in this building tonight and sometimes I begin to doubt whether I’m going to make it through. I must confess I’m tired.”

Rev Dr Martin Luther King was a compelling orator and a good man, a prophet and a witness of our time and yet ‘just’ a human man.    Jesus said, “Blessed are they that hear the word of God and keep it”  (Luke 11.28) By Jesus’ definition, for women as well as men, biology is not destiny. Rather spiritual commitment is destiny. [An] internal willingness to cooperate with the larger plan of God.  The same kind of blessedness is available to every person, Jesus implies, whether that person happens to be male or female, healthy or crippled, old or young, single or married (Mollenkott, 1977) The pastor at Bethel said, “Do you have air in your lungs? Blood pumping through your heart? …then the Lord is not finished with you yet, the Lord is not finished with you yet.”

The Voice beckons today… can you hear it? The best thing we could do to honour this man and continue his legacy would be to listen to that Voice and answer “Here I am Lord, send me.”

 

 

On Monday I was able to sit in on Ched and Elaine running a webinar for a class on restorative justice (the students are studying their “Ambassadors of Reconciliation” publications) and they made moving reference to a trip they made to Birmingham where they were  able to visit a memorial of the Children’s March a critical moment in the non-violent civil rights movement where “on 2 May, more than a thousand African American students skipped their classes and gathered at Sixth Street Baptist Church to march to downtown Birmingham. As they approached police lines, hundreds were arrested and carried off to jail in paddy wagons and school buses. When hundreds more young people gathered the following day for another march, commissioner Bull Connor directed the local police and fire departments to use force to halt the demonstration. Images of children being blasted by high-pressure fire hoses, clubbed by police officers, and attacked by police dogs appeared on television and in newspapers and triggered outrage throughout the world.”

Monday 16th January is Martin Luther King day here in the US, here is an article by Ched to inspire and challenge us to dream of creative ways to love…

“…to see what will become of his dream.”
Martin and Jesus

Ched Myers, January, 2005

Not long after Martin Luther King was killed, the great American rabbi Abraham Heschel asserted that the very future of our country might well depend upon how the legacy of this extraordinary man would be handled.

Unfortunately, the way King is officially honored on our national holiday has little to do with the leader of the most significant religious and political movement in U.S. history, which dramatically and permanently changed the landscape of American race relations.  Rather, King is portrayed as a lovable, harmless icon of peace and tolerance.  King’s legacy has been widely domesticated, captive to street names and prayer breakfasts.  And his revolutionary message gets typically reduced to a vague and sentimental sound-byte—”I have a dream”—which apparently can mean anything to anyone.

King’s real public voice, however, was prophetic in every sense of the word.  His oratory was often polarizing and upsetting to the status quo—and even moreso, his campaigns of militant civil disobedience.   This “subversive” voice is perhaps best heard in his famous “Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break the Silence” speech, delivered on April 4, 1967 at the Riverside Church in New York (for the text and an audio excerpt go to www.drmartinlutherkingjr.com/beyondvietnam.htm).

In this talk, King—who was by then a famous civil rights leader and Noble Peace prize recipient—publicly articulated his opposition to the Vietnam war for the first time.  Government authorities—most notably FBI chief J. Edgar Hoover—were furious that King had joined his considerable moral authority to the anti-war movement.  It is not surprising that exactly one year later almost to the hour, the prophet was gunned down in Memphis.

The Vietnam war was, of course, an earlier example of the U.S. trying to secure “regime change” in a foreign country, as is the current case in Iraq.  Thus the real King is highly inconvenient for a materialistic, militaristic and racist nation that has canonized him and then ignored his clarion call to overturn those “giant triplets” of evil.

Interestingly, the same can be said of another prophet, Jesus of Nazareth.  The portrait we get in the gospels—of an anointed man who ministered among the poor, relentlessly challenged the rich and powerful, and was executed as a political dissident—is a far cry from the stained glass window Christ we encounter in churches.

It seems to be a pattern in human culture: we are far more comfortable with dead prophets than living ones.  We honor them publicly only after they are safely disposed of, after which they are put on display in museums and shrines.  Jesus understood well this tendency:  “Woe to you!” he exclaimed, “For you build the tombs of the prophets whom your ancestors killed” (Luke 11:47).

One of Dr. King’s colleagues, Rev. James W. Lawson, a Methodist minister who still works tirelessly for justice here in Los Angeles, likes to say that if you want to understand King you must look at Jesus.  Yes, he means that King was a committed Christian disciple, who understood the call of the gospel to advocacy for the oppressed and nonviolent resistance to injustice.  King prayed as he picketed, he preached to presidents, and he challenged Christians to take their faith out to the streets.

But Lawson means more than that.  There are uncomfortable parallels between the Jesus story and the ministry of King.  Both came from ethnic minority communities who suffered great discrimination.  Both spent time listening to the pain of the dispossessed and broken.  Both worked to build social movements of commitment and conviction.  Both proclaimed God’s justice in ways that got them into trouble with the authorities.  Both were involved in dramatic public protests that resulted in arrest and jail.  Both were deemed a threat to national security, and had their inner circles infiltrated by government informers.  And both were killed by the authorities because of their work and witness.

It seems to me , however, that the converse also applies: If you want to understand Jesus, look at King.  That is to say, the more you study the history of the civil rights movement, the more the gospels come alive.  Most Christians tend to think of Jesus in a highly spiritualized, even romanticized way, as if he was always bathed in light, clothed in white, everybody’s best friend.  But Jesus didn’t get whacked because he was a nice guy and joined hands with folk singing “We are the World.”  His times were as contentious and conflicted as King’s or ours, his choices were costly, the risks real.

If we take the time to learn about the challenges that Dr. King faced trying to build a social movement for integration in the teeth of the hostile system of American apartheid, it can help us re-imagine how difficult it must have been for Jesus.  Jesus’ world was not the fantasy-scape we so often imagine the Bible to inhabit, but a terrain not unlike that of the U.S. in 1968, a world of government surveillance and conspiracy, of imperial “justice” meted out by good old boys who can hardly contain their glee when the prophet is killed, then issue stern calls for law and order in the wake of the “tragic death” that they engineered.

Jesus, too, was hemmed in by all the political factions of first century Palestinian society.  He had to navigate death threats from without and dissent from within his movement; he had as colleagues only a tiny group of feckless, knuckle-headed and betrayal-bound companions.  So let’s keep it real: struggling for the Kingdom of God in a world held hostage by tyrants, terrorists, militarists, and kingpins, a world that seems to merit only ambivalence from toothless religious leaders and insular academics and distracted young folks—it’s hard work.

Yet both Jesus and King believed that the movement for God’s justice is worth giving our lives to—which they invited us to do.  It wasn’t that King was so peculiar, says Lawson; it’s that he seems that way to us because we haven’t yet found the commitment and courage to try to change the world .  If Jesus or King seem like remote historical figures to us, it is only because we haven’t engaged in the struggle for which they lived and died (and in different ways, live still).

But everything they were trying to fix is still broken. And the kinds of folks they sought to heal and to liberate are still crying out for compassion and justice.  King protested the war in Indochina because “the poor of America are paying the double price of smashed hopes at home and death and corruption abroad… The great initiative in this war is ours. The initiative to stop it must be ours.”  The same case could be made of the current war in Iraq and the growing poverty in our own country.  But how often was that message heard during the public paeans to King delivered by politicians and preachers over the recent national holiday?

Ultimately, then, a real encounter with Jesus or with Martin will call into question all our comfortable certainties about our selves and our society.  For these prophets call us to defend the poor, but we instead lionize the rich; they tell us that our weapons cannot save us, but we instead watch with rapt fascination when bombs drop on Baghdad;  they challenge us to forgo idolatry, but we instead keep looking for that next cool thing to buy.  Above all, these prophets warn us that the only way of salvation in a world locked down by the spiral of violence is the way of nonviolent, sacrificial, creative love.  That the only way to true transformation in a world of deadened conscience and numbing conformity is the way of committed discipleship.

Dr. King was gunned down on the balcony of the Lorraine motel in Memphis, which has been turned into the National Civil Rights museum.  Just below that balcony is a memorial plaque (above).  The only words inscribed on it are from Genesis 37:19-20, the taunt of Joseph’s scheming brothers:  “Behold, here cometh the dreamer…  Let us slay him… and we shall see what will become of his dreams.”  Every time I stand before that plaque, I weep.

We do well to honor the real Martin Luther King, a child of the church and a treasure to the nation, who followed his Lord in life and death.  The question of what will become of his dream, however, remains posed to us like an unresolved chord.  It invites us to discipleship in a world still captive to racism, militarism and poverty.

This is an edited version of a talk Ched gave to students at Concordia University in Irvine, CA on Jan 21, 2005.
 
 
Next open webinar: Jan 19, 5:45-7:15 pm PST:  Webinar:  Mark’s Call to Discipleship in Socio-political and Economic Context” only $9.50, you can sign up at http://www.chedmyers.org/blog/2012/01/03/2012-monthly-bcm-webinar-series-begins-jan-19-your-mark

I arrived Sunday and am settling into life in Oak View –

so far we breakfast at 7.30am and have a reading from the Anabaptist Prayer Book “Take Our Moments and Our Days”, we have a lunchtime (scrummy bean burritos!) post-prandial reflection from “All Saints: Daily Reflections on Saints, Prophets and Witnesses for Our Time” by Robert Ellsberg, before dinner I’m reading a little something from the Anglican English/Maori Book of Common Prayer “The New Zealand Liturgy 1970” and we will be reading aloud of an evening – potentially – “Ask That Mountain” which is the story of Parihaka, a little-known Maori chieftain who was doing non-violent resistance before Ghandi*.  But not on Tuesdays, when we will take turns at leading Vespers, or Thursdays when we will be praying through prayer points from a community called Sabeel in Jerusalem with whom Ched & Elaine have a connection… and, uh, we haven’t had a conversation about my specific study plan yet.

I’m rolling in the big leagues of Type 5! And yet,

The main foci of the BCM are as follows:

1. Radical Discipleship in the Christian tradition
2. Education “between the seminary, sanctuary and the streets”
3. Full spectrum restorative justice & peacemaking
4. Biblical literacy with an emphasis on social context
5. Movement history and interconnectivity
6. Ecojustice and sustainability
7. Indigenous justice/racism/Truth & Reconciliation

The importance of the story of their name ‘Bartimaeus’ is in the discipleship journey from the “blindness of denial to the sight of engagement” (Ched) and as Lanza del Vasto would say (one of my new Saints) “one could not hope to resolve the problems of the world as long as one was a part of them”… There is a sense of solidarity in learning together.  Ched and Elaine are inviting me (us!) into their discipleship journey and I just hope I can keep up!

Na, i tenei kapua nui o nga kaiwhakaatu e karapoti nei i a tatou, whakarerea e tatou nga whakataimaha katoa, me to hara whakaeke tata, kia manawanui hoki tatou ki te oma i te omanga e takoto nei i to tatou aroaro.          Hiperu 12:1

Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely and let us run with perseverence the race that is set before us.                                                 Hebrews 12:1

*note that Ched is providing me with these resources I didn’t bring them with me and can claim no prior knowledge!

Last night we had “Prayers in the Pergola” reflecting on Armistice day and peace, William Stringfellows article ‘The Marks of Involvement’ was referenced:

“Christians are those who take history very seriously.  They regard the day-to-day existence of the world realistically, as a way of acknowledging and honouring God’s own presence and action in the real world in which human beings live and fight and love and vote and work and die. And Christians know, more sensitively and sensibly than other people, that this is a fallen world, not an evil world but the place in which death is militant and aggressive and at work in all things. Christians know that in this world in which, apart from God’s work in all things, death is the only meaning, all relationships have been broken and all human beings suffer enstrangement from one another and alienation from themselves. Of all people, Christians are the most blunt and relentless realists.  They are free to face the world as it is without flinching, without shock, without fear, without surprise, without embarrassment, without sentimentality, without guile or disguise. They are free to live in the world as it is.”

How are we living into this understanding of reality? We are called to see and understand… perhaps especially those things at which it is uncomfortable to look too closely. We do not live in isolation. In a world where war and violence affect so many – not only today’s fight but the generationally wounded – how can we speak resurrection and hope into that?

 

A staff member shared this reflection at prayers a few months ago:

A person kneels to contemplate a tree and to reflect the troubles and joys of life. It is difficult to accept that life is difficult; that love is not easy and that doubt and struggle, suffering and failure, are inevitable for each and every one of us. We seek life’s ease. We yearn for joy and release, for flowers and the sun. And although we may find these in abundance we also find ourselves lying awake at night possessed by the terrible fear that life is impossible. Sometimes when we least expect it we wake up overwhelmed by a massive sense of loneliness, misery, chaos and death: appalled by the agony and futility of existence. It is difficult indeed to accept that this darkness belongs naturally and importantly to our human condition and that we must live with it and bear it. It seems so unbearable. Nature, however, requires that we have the darkness of our painful feelings and that we respect it and make a bold place for it in our lives. Without its recognition and acceptance there can be no true sense of life’s great depth, wherein lies our capacity to love, to create and to make meaning. A person kneels to contemplate a tree and to reflect upon the troubles and joys of life. The person imagines mornings and evenings in a great forest of prayers, swarming and teeming with life… The person is learning how to pray.

Prayer Tree – Leunig

Jean Varnier in “Community & Growth” says:

I am more and more struck by people in community who are dissatisfied. When they live in small communities, they want to be in larger ones, where there is more nourishment, where there are more community activities, or where the liturgy is more beautifully prepared.  And when they are in large communities, they dream of ideal small ones.  Those who have a lot to do dream of having plenty of time for prayer; those who do have a lot of time for themselves seem to get bored and search distractedly for some sort of activity which will give a sense to their lives. And don’t we all dream of the perfect community, where we will be at peace and in complete harmony, with a perfect balance between the exterior and the interior, where everything will be joyful?

It is difficult to make people understand that the ideal doesn’t exist, that the personal equilibrium and they harmony they dream of come only after years and years of struggle, and that even then they come only as flashes of grace and peace.  If we are always looking for our own equilbrium, I’d say even if we are looking too much for our own peace, we will never find it, because peace is the fruit of love and service to others… look instead at your brothers and sisters in need.  Be close to those God has given you in community today… everything will resolve itself through love.
More and more I am coming to understand that it is our brokenness that binds us rather than our perfection.  In a consumer society where it always feel like the grass is greener somewhere else it is important to buy-in somewhere and commit to growth in your own patch of the neighbourhood.  In owning the brokenness and needs I bring to community I am humbled to extend to others the welcome I myself receive.  Those plants I want to see the fruit of? I have to help them grow… I pray that you will know  a flash of grace and peace this week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Sabbath Economics: Negative Capital (Debt)

In a time of global economic crises and the Occupy Wall Street campaign it is interesting to reflect on debt and the role it plays in our lives. There were an estimated 488 million debit cards and 686 million credit cards in circulation in the United States in 2009 and an estimated 36 million debit cards and 16 million credit cards in circulation in Australia. (Source: Euromonitor International, January 2010).  Historically the dominant cultural driver has been religion or government – it is currently commerce.

The Jesus movement also stood in opposition to the dominant economic model of debt bondage in his day, modelling instead what Ched Myers calls “a re-communitized economy of generalized reciprocity of sharing and cooperation” (p.34)

How much debt does your household have? What are some ways we can imagine living beyond the bondage of this debt?

Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

——-

Talitha: (Unmarried/No dependents/Renting) I was raised to live within my means – to buy things second hand, pick up a bargain when things are on special, then when that money is needed further on because the car breaks down or something the resources are there, my family wasn’t wealthy but we had ‘enough’. It was interesting to reflect on how for all of us our childhood contexts were deeply impacting on our relationship with money as adults.  How do we role model good stewardship to our own children/the children in our community when they often aren’t participants in the financial choices that we make? A debt load such as a mortgage is a really deep commitment by families to embed themselves in this neighbourhood, a stability that is vital to my own capacity to be here,  but then to service that they need to work more hours – are there ways that I could help the families in my community pay of their mortgages faster, thereby ‘freeing’ them up? What other good work might happen?

 I liked playing with the concept of a credit card slip that is a gentle reminder of the bigger cost of spending beyond the purchase price. Want one for your wallet? Send no money now, for just 3 easy purchase payments of… lol, if there’s interest I’ll make ‘em free.  Keen to think about whether we could have a bit of a communal giving account to which I transfer the money that I would otherwise have spent on something I don’t really need – if I see that money as ‘excess’ to my needs, to what better use could I be putting it? E.g. I probably get a neck & shoulder massage at the mall four-six times a year, if I made a conscious decision to do massage swaps with someone in my community instead then 1) that would probably be another way we’re able to deliberately connect and 2) this might give me $120-180 for the kitty – and a reward of this stewardship would be being able to decide together on a purpose to put that towards that benefits others.

Also recommend checking out the Christians for Occupy page, we follow a God who isn’t far away but here among us – he would have been amongst the 99% but he would have left us to go and find the 1%. Yeah, we are called to solidarity with the poor but also to invite Zaccheus to share a meal at our table, how can we keep having conversations about finance that aren’t polarising and invite others to know another layer of richness in their life – that generosity is a gift that blesses the giver as well as the receiver?

You are called

You are called.

Check out this post by Christop and be affirmed in ‘knowing’ you are a contributing part of the body of Christ.

‘to love our neighbours as ourselves’ is a common belief across all faiths.

Sometimes feel depressed – actually those are things worth feeling depressed about (global financial crisis, global warming…) We are complicit in an exploitative system.  Fills us with sorrow.  Accept it as a reasonable response and don’t let it incapacitate me.

Joy and sorrow can co-exist.  Sadder the older I get.

Nehemiah – the joy of the Lord is my strength. In the midst of my sorrow need to find a reason for hope/joy.  God is always there.  God brings joy.  Need a spiritual discipline of finding God in sorrow.  In all things God is working for good.  When we find God in a situation we will find good.  Get up everyday and find something I can rejoice in: within myself, in my relationship with my wife, my family, my community…

Action research – look for problems.  Find them. Generate more à become overwhelmed e.g. “what do you see as the problems in our relationship?”, ask your partner that question and you will have found some problems to work on!

Appreciative research – peak experience, best practice.  What do you like about our relationship? Why? How could we do this more often in the future? E.g. what are the best times we’ve had together? What made them good? How could we have them more often?

Dealing with the negative in a more positive framework is more energy-giving.

What is truly there? Something about how it operates that sustains it – start from that.  E.g. people will keep running a programme long beyond when it is sustainable, it must be because there is something in that worth saving.

Positions polarise – close down options into one of two.  Those positions harden and it becomes difficult to see resolution.  Ask “why?” of both sides to draw out fears and desires.  See if there are solutions beyond their positions that meet desires and address fears. Not easy and not quick.  Fear of the process greater than need to change. E.g. building mosque – the side against were concerned about increased traffic flow and parking, Muslim people feared religious intolerance in their community.

Several options that can look like:
–          No existing relationship, no interest in a common goal
–          Committed to action, regardless of how it affects other relationships
–          Relationship so important, need to NOT act. Can’t risk it.
–          Do have a relationship – are interested in resolution (partial/unlimited)

Community with family:

Plan our time together and there are different kinds:
–          Non-negotiable time, this belongs to my wife and family and it cannot be given away
–          Non-negotiable time, give freely to everybody – don’t need to talk about it
–          Negotiable, to family or community

It is easy to give up something that is not important to yourself on behalf of someone else e.g. living without a fridge in India – easy for Dave to commit to but not for his wife àfundamental injustice.  Only sacrifice what is mine, not what belongs to others. Sometimes excruciating to negotiate, ‘worst way of doing it, apart from all the other ways’. Consequences of not negotiating – more painful.  Negotiating is a heavy process. Something that is life-giving for me might also be death-giving t someone else – have to negotiate to a cost. Often these aren’t win:win but rather choose what is life-giving for her this time and hope that it will roll around to my turn next time.  Important to be putting the other person first.

When first started this work it was all or nothing. Gave freely and fully. Became hurt. You can help and resource others without risking anything but you can’t love them.  Need to be willing/able to be vulnerable. I was becoming increasingly hardened. Prayed. God is love.  To reflect God to the world need to show love.  Get hurt along the way and now scared.  Need to ask ourselves: what can we do today to reach out to those around us so if its not reciprocated or appreciated it won’t destroy us?

Want to risk but can’t take the same amount every day.  A given that we will reach out but give ourselves permission to say how much we are able to risk. E.g. could be the difference between jumping in my car to go to work and only waving at my neighbours on the ways past, or walk out the door and seek people out but only talk about what is ‘light, right, nice, polite’ – no capacity to go to the depths, or go up to one person and go deep: “I’m sorry that we aren’t getting on so well, love to shout you a coffee sometime and talk about it…”

Need to monitor our own degrees of vulnerability.  Become bitter if give more than we can give happily.

Sacrificial giving – condemn Pharisees who only give a little themselves and exploit widows.  Exploit our desire to be generous and then guilt-trip is for more. Jesus was willing to die but not every day, most times Jesus ran away – only died once.  No one takes my life from me but I can lie it down. Sacrifice. We will take a stand and get done over, but not every day.

Need to think about our choices in relation to our partners/kids. E.g. if I am away on holiday for 14 days – need to manage myself to be back, present and attentive, on day 15.  Otherwise that is time that I have stolen from my wife and kids.

So many voices, culture, choices in our head driving us – seek out still small voice (role of the Holy Spirit). For myself, get a blank piece of paper and write things down with an arrow beside them

Arrow pointing upwards: things I want to ask God
Arrow pointing downwards: things God tells me
~ this becomes my ‘to do’ list

Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can and the wisdom to know it’s me.

Turning inwards, that job will never be complete.  But others seeing you on the journey might be inspired to become more like you. Teach me the lessons I need to learn so that I can be useful to someone else in the future.

Appreciative inquiry – if actions are oppressing a third party: have to intervene. In some occasions you can avoid/walk away but others you must intervene.

Becoming involved in conflict:

Keep your distance – a) helps situation not to escalate and b) gives you a head start if you need to run. Say something like “hey mate, can I help you something?” address the perpetrator not the victim.  Will think you’re on their side.  Want to protect them from harm themselves. Always frightened and fearful when getting involved.  If fair fight might sometimes keep walking but not if someone is out-numbered or overpowered.

Be gentle on ourselves. Can be our own worst enemy and our own best friend.  Rather than seeking validation from others, seek how God sees me. My needs and ideas are valid too.  Can’t wait for someone else to tell me that.  Desire for acceptance/approval. “The Lucifer effect”

In the context of God’s validation, accept ourselves.

Activist/doing – gets approval.  Hard work of seeking God and being still – becoming aware of our own faults and limitations. Can ‘survive’ and not maintain your soul. What is the bottom line of what you are willing to compromise of your faith/values? E.g. in a concentration camp: some did anything to survive, even kill other jews (had a life, but no soul), others were reformers preaching hope/outspoken, executed quickly (had soul but not their life), third type would not intervene in someone being beaten but would not engage in brutality themselves (both soul and life).

Whether they fire or shoot me  won’t do ….

What is the bottom line of what you are willing to compromise of your faith/values?

Urban Vision’s model is for those living in community to pay board and then share their room with a young person.

Luke 10 – sending out the 70

Three things:

1)      Don’t take purse, bag or sandals

Simplify your life.  Don’t take anything with you.  Feel like we need to have all of the resources/tools/time before we start.  Why would God give you a miracle when you already have stuff? (Jacqui Pullinger)

In order to be involved in significant hospitality in your house, what would you need to simplify? (discuss with person sitting next to you)

–          Queen-sized bed kills community (barrier to having people stay as compared with 2 single beds in a room)
–          Need a smaller couch (could move study into lounge then and have a spare room)
–          Work less hours
–          Be ‘present’ more
–          Share house to cover rent/mortgage

Hospitality means more if it costs you something e.g. person will know you are sacrificing privacy/personal space to have them. Sharing in economy of ‘enough’ rather than only giving out of my excess.

Average person has six groups of people they connect with:
–          family
–          work/study
–          worship/church
–          social/sport/bookclub
–          people we live with
–          Ministry e.g. youth work
Need to cull groups to create physical time.  Home can become a castle (has a moat, don’t let anyone in) or motel (only use it to drop gear off/sleep). We made a conscious decision to only have three groups: Family, work and then everything else combined into one.  Relocation is helpful.  Doing something like “Servants to Asia” easier than relocating in your own context.  We won’t initiate with wider group of friends – those who are committed to the friendship will be faithful to asking us.  Modular approach – go on holiday for a week – be deliberate about spending time with good friends then rather than catching up every week.

2)      Sending as lambs amongst wolves

Bad news for disciples.  Only thing he promises is that He will never leave or forsake us. Hospitality opens us to a level of vulnerability. Living in inner city, did I get beaten up? Yes. Can’t follow Jesus without it being dangerous.  You will disappoint your parents.  They love you and don’t want you to be hurt.

In order for me to do hospitality, what are the risks? What are you afraid of? (discuss with person sitting next to you)

–          duty of care/accusations (particularly for men around kids/youth work)
–          introversion of other housemates
–          are my kids safe?
–          my own personal safety (particularly for women)

Living in the centre of God’s will, safest place to be. Some lessons learned/benefits:
–          community
–          aunties and uncles
–          spend time debriefing
–          children are good observers but not good interpreters, blame themselves
–          know the background of those you take in (doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t take them but you know what the risks are)
–          don’t have kids the same age as ours – creates a sense of competition/competing for space whereas if younger/older sense of difference and room for everyone.
–          don’t take anything into your house that isn’t going to be a blockage if you lost it e.g. ring from grandmother (hard to forgive if you lost it)
–          need to have a “no resentment policy” – nothing that will cause bitterness
–          once kids are at an age where looking for influence be careful about who you invite in, e.g. more cautious around that once children were teenagers.

3)      When you meet someone on the road, do not stop and talk. Stay only in one house.

What are the cultural distractions/idols that stop us from doing hospitality well? E.g. career, mortgage, super/retirement…

Downsize and take back control.

It is what you make here that is important not what you get there (illusion that grass is greener)

I am an introvert – throw yourself into it! For the first three months you love it and think everything is really great, for the next year and a half or so the noise of the people you live with feels like a constant annoying drone. Once you get to 2 years its background noise and you don’t notice it anymore.  Rhythm of prayer with focus on silence.  Run marathons – just me and the road.  Switch off into a book but can now do that while I’m in a room full of people.

Becomes obvious quickly where a young persons fragility lies.  Adults are better at hiding the dysfunction – structure our lives to account for our dysfunction. Once in community that doesn’t work, being in community wears down those self-managing boundaries.  Unprocessed-ness spills out onto other people (community will explode after 2 years).  If you want to have community need to have a high commitment and integrity to become who you are called to be.

There are always inclusion/exclusion factors/tensions.  In order to be inclusive at another level you have to be exclusive – want them to join kingdom of God, not to join us.  It is imperative that we have sustainability. Small core of committed people working to a common goal together.

Where do the people come from? Around Urban Vision, totally word of mouth. At Ngatiawa we get ex-prisoners, school guidance counsellor makes referrals. Need a maintain a balance between community members and punters – need more structures as you get bigger e.g. smoking circles. We made it a rule that no one was allowed to smoke with anyone else.

–          Don’t what it to be them and us, and this is a separation that reinforces that
–          Who is influencing? Those who are also struggling themselves
–          Have one struggler, bond with them before introducing another struggler
–          Strong sense of family/extended family (whanau) combine worlds.

When bringing in a new ‘struggler’ how do you find out what their issues are to measure/prepare appropriately for risks?

–          Can often find out some info from whoever is making the referral
–          Ask, what are you addicted to?
–          Ask, do you have any mental health issues?
–          Always other stuff that comes up as you get to know someone

~ I don’t want to know details/be polluted. Want to be able to relate to them as a person